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Suspension through: 0000-00-00
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A Young Neocon
08/18/08, 19:26

There is nothing sadder than a young republican. My high school was infested with them. One of them even went on about how hot Ann Coulter is. Gah.
Young Boy Wants To Be A Garbageman
08/18/08, 19:22

Trevor wanted to be a garbage man from a very early age. It was his ultimate dream.

"Go away, kid," the garbage men would say whenever he'd accost them. "Trust us, you don't want our job. You'll always stink and you'll get maggots in your hair."

Trevor sighed. This is what comes of not having passion, he'd think. If he were a garbage man, he'd do it better. He'd be the greatest garbage man ever. He'd become rich and famous and appear on talk shows.

He'd be offered the role of landfill foreman in just a few months of starting, but he'd humbly turn it down. "Oh, I don't want that job," he'd say with consummate graciousness, "I'm happy merely doing what I do now. I'm happy serving the public and cleaning up for them. It's not for everyone, but it's perfect for me."

He'd appear in magazines, too, and speak out against environmentalism. "Who needs recycling?" He'd ask, "Not us. Too much of a hassle. Just throw your things away and we'll take care of the rest."

Trevor never got his dream job. But during long and tedious board meetings, when his underlings would give him the quarterly reports and tell him what a great improvement he was over the previous CEO, who embezzled billions, he'd stare wistfully out of the skyscraper's window -- to the trash cans below.

That's where I belong.

And when he was shredding and disposing of incriminating documents, he made sure to throw in some banana peels, some paper cups, and a stale sandwich, just for the noble men who had acheived what he simply could not.
Young Boy Wants To Be A Garbageman
08/18/08, 19:22

Holy shit, I totally wrote a little thing about a kid like this about two years ago
Bad Dubbing: Techno Police
08/16/08, 22:52

Ghost in the Shell: Acute Vocal Immodulation Complex
Dragonball Z: Goten and Trunks VS Hitler
08/16/08, 16:23

Eh, this one isn't as good as when Captain Planet and company fought him. If only for the irony of Captain motherfucking Planet inadvertently causing the atom bomb's invention.
Short and Sweet Carwash
08/16/08, 03:03

Did... did that man just steal a car wash?

I think we have a new challenger for world's biggest badass.
Zero Punctuation - Prince of Persia Retrospective
08/14/08, 09:06

A good review, but I stand by my assertion that Metroid was clearly the best series last generation.
How hot dogs are made
08/14/08, 08:56

Huh? This is the same exact way legislation is made.
The Dumbest Plot to a Gay Porn Ever
08/14/08, 08:46

Isn't Godfather the Godfather of movies?
Kerri Strug's 1996 Olympic Vault
08/13/08, 14:20

Neither does "SamueltehG33k - SPEAK OUT AGAINST ACTA NOW" or like everything else you've fived I mean seriously are you really going to be anal retentive about something on POETV not mattering
McCain campaign ad: 'Obama Fan Club'
08/12/08, 16:18

Well, McCain sure did find an angle. I hope he runs with this and never stops.
Barack Hussein Obama is the Antichrist
08/07/08, 21:59

You guys, I think Jesus Christ may be the antichrist.

He's loved by millions.

He was a charismatic speaker.

And he promises change and peace.

Plus, I think we all know what that H stands for.
The Matrix movie mistakes
08/05/08, 16:27

Front. Back. Front... back.
Dog TKs kid
08/05/08, 16:24

More like THed
Matt Damon on Jimmy Kimmel Live
08/05/08, 05:44

Republicans Protest Democrat's Great Escape on Energy
08/05/08, 05:10

Kudos to Det. Tubman for a subtle troll.
Grand Theft Auto 2 Intro
08/05/08, 02:45

They spent so much money on this, they couldn't afford to make the game good.
08/04/08, 17:54

Rating it well over a year after seeing it for the first time.
Cops taser injured 16 year old 19 times
08/04/08, 05:42

I comply.
08/04/08, 05:23

No, it's not.

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