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|Christopher Walken performs 'Poker Face'|
I'm so fucking hard right now.
|TOP 3 WORST internet browsers|
it must be awful to be a crap dude and also an idiot.
|Californication - No Hair on Vagina|
It's not terrible. It's a big, dumb pile of TV-edgy clichés, but it's also terrific fun.
|The Kate Gosselin Story|
I can't one-star George Takei, but...
|'Unveiling the Katana' guy's bedroom walkthrough|
That book by his bed is Terry Goodkind, just in case you were thinking their might be limits to his awfulness.
|Disgruntled_Goat is angry about Halo3 ads|
Save it for the showers, ladies.
|Kirk Cameron celebrates the anniversary of On the Origin of Species|
The one good thing about a guy who starts a dialogue with, "Are you concerned about what's happening to our country?" is that I know I can stop listening to him, so that's what I did.
|DJ Hero Daft Punk Trailer|
So now, instead of pretending to play music, we can pretend to NOT play music? My mind, she is a-blown.
|PAX 2009 - Interview with Heavy Weapons Guy|
"What? I'm the pyro!"
I will say that I'm glad he worked on his accent and didn't stop at just gaining two hundred pounds.
|Crooks and Liars: John Harwood is worried about the children of stupid people|
Too bad none of them watch MSNBC.
"More" does not mean "more sophisticated." If a person with hyperacusis finds sopranos intolerable, that doesn't mean Cecilia Bartoli is a bad singer. The fact that some people are uncommonly photosensitive makes the sunrise no less beautiful.
"Pretentious" has become a label for mediocre plebes to apply to anyone who demonstrates knowledge and passion for any subject. I cannot imagine their joy when they discovered this word with which they could finally turn the tables and make it uncool to be good at something. Is this guy a hipster cunt? Indubitably. But he knows more about coffee than you and he is giving you the benefit of his knowledge while making a special effort _not_ to make you feel bad about your ignorance. Any shame or self-loathing you feel is your doing and not his.
And to those of you who think coffee is icky, that's exactly his point. Get some coffee that's made right and see if you feel the same way. If you do, you'll have to spend some time educating you palate, because coffee is objectively good, and anyone who doesn't eat all of their meals in the parking lot of 7-11 knows it.
|Obsessives: Soda Pop|
I enjoy this on so many levels.
|Town Halls Gone Wild!|
Gun these people down like rabid dogs. I'm serious as a heart attack.
|Juwanna Mann - trailer|
Kevin Pollack: "Kill me now!" I bet. It's hard out there for a nebbish.
|Smash and Grab At NJ Apple Store (31 seconds)|
Dann Cuellar (what the fuck) is WAY too excited about this sexy, sexy crime. I expected to see them cut back to him with his shirt on inside out and smoking a goddamn cigarette.
|Baby Proof Your Home With Doctor Downer|
Baby-proofing never made sense to me because it assumes that making babies is such an arduous and unpleasant process that I will go to great lengths not to have to do it again.
|Emerson college rejection|
I'm not surprised he didn't get in; he can't read, he can't talk, he looks like a twat and his little hissy fit is completely failing to convey his emotions.
|Juicy Karkass - Punch 'Em In The Dick|
Good enough for me.
|3-2-1 Contact: Cosmic Clock|
One billion years? Darkness, and a horrible rending sound.