duck&cover 
Maybe he was just trying to see if it would fit in his mouth.
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Riskbreaker
I think the coast guards were a bit busy watching My Little Pony.
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Burnov
Bad CG displeases Lorenzo Lamas.
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Caminante Nocturno
Everywhere you go, everywhere you looOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!
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baleen
The Coast Guard are primarily concerned with reality television show deals and selling the cocaine they confiscate to Seattle hipsters.
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EvilHomer
Please. The Coast Guard wouldn't be caught dead hanging out near the Golden Gate Bridge, what with all them faggots, hippies, and socialists living in San Francisco. No sir, nuh-uh. The Coasties are probably off doing important, manly stuff, and if a bunch of helpless, flailing, eco-nut lefties get their asses chomped by a gigantic killer shark, oh well, maybe San Fran should have considered that scenario before being all anti-gun and shit.
Proposition H? More like, Proposition Hand The City Over To Mega Shark!
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TheSupafly
SHARK ALARM
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Jet Bin Fever
Tasty bridge.
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Innocent Bystander
A big shark is eating the Golden Gate bridge and it's making these people pretty worried.
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jimmicampkin
I hate these movies. Far too self aware; 'what random animal can we gigantify this time and in which capital city oh it's just like the fiftieezzz when it was funny grab a beer and laugh at how ridiculous it all is!'
Bollocks I say. At least those old films with giant shrews/tarantulas/reptiles/buzzards had ideas...
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Robin Kestrel
Meh. That's pretty big, I guess.
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