Oh god, they're trying to eat each other!

Okay, waiting till you're married to fuck, I could understand. But to not even KISS before then? That's truly fucked up.

I want to watch this show RIGHT NOW.

Five stars for looking EXACTLY like I thought it would.

Wonder how she'll react to seeing her very first penis.

Okay, if people who actually do this are so rare that we base reality shows around them and their weirdness, can we please stop basing our education policy solely on making everyone become this? Hasn't it just become ridiculously obvious that everyone's full of shit by now?

He looks like one of those closeted gay dudes doing what he thinks a straight man is supposed to do when kissing a woman.

OH MAN. A billion stars for this being filmed and broadcast to millions on shitty television.

That's pretty sick.

I had someone try to make out with me like that once. It's even worse then it looks.

My woman and I just tried kissing like that.

Neither of us want to fuck now.

I waited until I was 31 to try ice cream because there's a 31 on the Baskin Robbins logo.

The ice cream tasted good, which means I made the right choice!

Proverbs: 30:33
Like churning milk produces butter, a strongth welling of the loins produces a twisting of the male member and thus discord amongst your tribe. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife at the age of 42, and they will become one flesh unit.

Why is he trying to suck out her soul?

I think TLC is the most hard-hitting journalism around. Who else has the guts to so faithfully document the total desiccation of American society?

That kiss was more disgusting than most of the porn I've seen.

I cringed. I'd imagine this video is even worse with the sound on.

"You may now devour the bride".

...I certainly wouldn't have expected them to start regurgitating semi-digested food into each others' mouths instead of kissing. Is that in the Bible somewhere?

I'll bet the temperature in their hotel room during the honeymoon suddenly spiked 40 degrees and started cooling down again after about five seconds.

And that afterwards they lay there, not looking at each other, wondering why they avoided any amount of physical contact whatsoever for the last 17 years of their lives to please some ancient angry deity, only to have SOMEONE's penis be too sensitive from years and years of sexual repression.

I bet he got his first public wedding boner

That's the sort of kiss you see in a movie when someone is dreaming of making out and they wake up to a dog licking them.