Can we just paste the last screen as the final story on poe-news?
|Louis Armstrong |
Yeah, this is the winner.
|Jet Bin Fever |
This experience is enhanced by it looking like someone dubbed it from an old VHS.
Five for "fire breathing fatso".
He's not fat, he's just big boned.
I believe he was also in Streets of Rage as an enemy. Maybe Streets of Rage 2?
Why is every bizarre and hateful game on the front page today? These are games I wanted to forget. They were the fever dreams of my youth. If only someone would post that one game where you're a wizard or something and it's a vertical scroller and you have to use magic to blast open bits of the landscape and find power ups in there, but you run out of magic in a few seconds if you don't find the right power ups and then you die when the advancing landscape kills you. Then I would "happy".
I always borrowed or rented Karnov (and, yes, I gave it a solid effort)... perhaps there was something in the instruction booklet that I wasn't able to learn that made this game less bizarre, confusing, and difficult? Things like "Why am I a fat circus strongman who fights demons by spitting fireballs and keeping ladders in my back pocket?"
So painful. I rented this game once. I think I played it for 20 minutes. I didn't know what any of the power ups did and you just keep dieing and dieing.
Wait, is this the end?
GAME OVER YEEAAAAH
|Sanest Man Alive |
Enlighten me: exactly what the fuck was everyone expecting to see at the end of these 20-years-and-change-old games? It's like I stumbled onto a romhacking forum from 1998.
At the end of Contra an island blows up. So I expect to see at least that.
The ending to Bionic Commando was downright tear-jerking.
I was once in a band that had two members who were mildly obsessed with Karnov and wrote music influenced by it.
And I wasn't even one of them.
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