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Desc:Perhaps the last eighties action movie ever made.
Category:Classic Movies, Accidents & Explosions
Tags:blade, wesley snipes, atavism
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Comment count is 24
I wish Expendables was a tribute to 80's action flicks instead of being Stallone's hamfisted attempt at being relevant.
I think its both.

This movie was fucking terrible, but I have to admit that Triple H and Parker Posey both entertained me with their willingness to go completely beyond over the top into another realm of over the topness.
Caminante Nocturno
This movie had a uniquely shitty cast.

It was as if most of the vampires were actors that were taking a quick break from shooting pornos. And they brought their "boss fucks the secretary" wardrobes along.

Blade was born ready to fuck your mother, and you like that.

Blade's birth name was "Reddi Motherfucker" and wants you to know that.


I've never seen "Blade", but I gather this is like in Zorro films where, when he's about to beat the captain of the guard, Zorro takes off his mask to reveal he's actually foppish Don Diego? "That's right, I've been under your nose as Reddi Motherfucker all this time and you never even suspected!"

Or maybe this is the reveal on a MacBeth-style prophecy: "Be bloody, bold, and resolute; laugh to scorn the power of man, for none that but leave woman shall harm thee". Who doesn't "but leave woman" except someone who re-enters her, a mother-fucker if you will?

Is this the one that had the line "You're one cunt hair short of an ass-whuppin!" or was that part two?
that was two, but this one had "cock-juggling thundercunt", so that's something. (also jessica biel running around doing flips and shit)

"Cock-juggling thundercunt" is truly amazing.

Caminante Nocturno
Snipes and the judge at his tax evasion trial had the exact same conversation when the trial started.
This movie sucked so hard that I watched it and remember absolutely nothing from it, not even this scene.
Caminante Nocturno
All I remember was how monumentally bad the casting was.

Lest we forget the vagina mouth vampires!
That was the second film, and they weren't a totally awful idea. That is, keeping in mind that this is a B-movie comic book series.

Del Toro actually made the second one halfway decent.

His sword unsheathing looked terribly awkward for some reason. Made for great context to this dialogue.
Back sheaths are pretty much done for the look. And they're often quite stupid-looking. Some Japanese swords were sheathed like that, but they weren't as long as the ones we see in films, and the idea of Europeans doing the back-sheath thing (other than some of the Celts) is pure myth.

I blame the ridiculously huge Daiklave Swords of Weeaboo +5 that insist on polluting the media, since they'd apparently look even more idiotic strapped to a hip.

brb ice-skating uphilll
Another awesome movie tainted by the addition of two completely shitty sequels.
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