How many black masses do I have to attend to get that mixing bowl?

As someone who spent the better part of his childhood forced to eat Indian lentil dishes, saying that they "expand like a bloated corpse" earns this a billion billion stars.

Premade spice mixes and garlic powder.

Face. Palm.

The funniest thing about this to me is how he makes the evil cackling wizard hands after dumping the vegetables in boiling water. It's really the little things.