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Desc:See, when you're born there's actually two people born...
Category:Educational, Horror
Tags:rant, conspiracy theory, birth certificate, straw man
Submitted:Space Helicopter
Date:02/02/12
Views:1544
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Comment count is 22
Riskbreaker
So, what are these people waiting to go and live in a cabin in the woods?
Cena_mark
No fucking joke. I was in the airport waiting on my flight to Anchorage, when I overheard a guy sitting near me going over a spiel just like this. After the guy he was talking to left for his flight the crazy started talking to me and saying that the name on my birth certificate isn't me because its written in all caps. He told me of when he successfully used this argument in court. Then he started talking some rapture shit.
He said he was going to Alaska to move to the middle of nowhere and live off the grid. I just shook my head in pity for him.

Aelric
Guys like that become forgotten skeletons in isolated cabins discovered by rangers.

jimmicampkin
Stars for Cena_Mark's amazing encounter.

Pillager
http://www.amazon.com/NiteRider-13-2v-Waterbottle-Battery-BlowTorc h/dp/B001AIKBGE

I don't know about the rest of you, but I stocking on the best weapon to deal with MY grassy doppelganger.

StanleyPain
Lemme guess...the ending is: RON PAUL RON PAUL RON PAUL
EvilHomer
The ending is Matrix, Ron Paul, Federal Reserve.

kingofthenothing
I don't... what the.... huh?
Billy the Poet
BUREAUCRACY IS NOT FUCKING HOGWARTS, DIPSHITS.
SteamPoweredKleenex
Maybe not where YOU work...


...but I may have said too much. Fnord.

cognitivedissonance
Satan is evil.

Government is evil.

Satan can do anything.

The powers of Satan are the same as the powers of government.

Witchcraft.


Xenocide
The prophecy states that if I find my legal doppleganger and kill him using the Mystic Gem of Rand, no one will ever have to pay taxes again.

But fuck that. I LIKE having food inspection and a police department.

SweaterCollection
The new Bioshock game is looking pretty fucking awesome so far.
Pompoulus
No, I should be able to do what I want to my children!
Oscar Wildcat
It never fucking occurs to these people that they can go to the courthouse and register another strawman called a corporation. That corporation can then do all kinds of things that the real human running it doesn't have to account for/take responsibility for. If you really don't like the government holding you responsible for your actions, there is an easy solution right at hand, based on the exact same laws these people are complaining about.
badideasinaction
Needs a "Sovereign citizen" tag. We need to start recording that sort of derp. The only hitch is this bunch is actually armed.
Rudy
I wouldn't believe any of this if it hadn't come from an aggravatingly infantile narrator, a bearded street vendor, Ron Paul and an evangelical minister.
Koda Maja
I used to work with a guy that believed in all this stuff. We were doing night security, which involved long hours of us sitting around with nothing to do but shoot the shit, so I got to hear all sorts of interesting paranoid conspiracy theories.

This guy had brankrupted himself and ruined his marraige from devoting years to fighting a convoluted series of legal battles trying to gain ownership of his "straw man" so he could use it as collateral for writing fake cheques for any amount of money which he believed would have to be accepted as legal payments due to some loopholes in the legal system.

Eventually the standard sovereign citizen / NWO stuff gave way to more serious paranoid rants about Illuminati plots to breed humanity into a genderless slave race for ancient religious purposes, and the whole thing began to lose its novelty.

A few years after I stopped working there, I heard from another former coworker that he had passed away. I guess "they" finally got to him.
dairyqueenlatifah
Your story is both fascinating and sad.

I only learned of the "Sovereign citizen movement" about a year ago. They are one of the few ideological groups out there that really scare me.

Killer Joe
I read about how a guy spent tens of thousands of dollars to fight a $20 parking ticket or something. He never won, per se, but the county just got so fed up with dealing with him that they stopped trying to collect. The worry is that these guys will tie up the courts with years of worthless litigation.
His other trick was mashing words together at random in further court filings to find the right "Key phrase" that would identify him as a FREEMAN and would force the judge let him get his money, and let him live a life free of responsibility, as in he can't be held accountable to laws for all the other straw men in the world. The judges knows what the phrase is, and when presented with it, paradise found, man.
Which I guess requires thinking about why all judges aren't all doing heroin in restaurants (which they own from all their HUMAN money) and having tons of public sex. Some strawman'd guy will be all "Hey, stop, that's against the law!" And the judge would flip them all off and be all, "Law? Psssssh!" and the lady would climax.
And everyone would clap.

CIWB
This is the first time I've heard of this particular brand of lunacy, so I googled it and, of course, the first entry was from the dailypaul.com message boards.

So, because the name on my birth certificate is in all caps, that means I have millions of dollars somewhere. Okey dokey.


Wombles
The problem with these narratives is that the people who believe in them remove themselves from any sort of meaningful debate about actually reforming policies that exist in reality.
+1 star for the matrix clip.
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