|The Mothership |
Great, just great; now all the memories of being an awkward adolescent in the late 80s are all coming back, the whisky is not doing its work.
Joke was on us, Zest left a healthy sheen of shame on anybody who used it.
5 stars for gullibility.
I used to do that with my towel as a kid because of this commercial. I was whipped with a belt for showing my shame.
And yet I did the exact same thing and thought I was Batman. You know, if Batman was a naked preschooler with parents.
Not even soap can get you fully clean.
Not after what you did.
|Innocent Bystander |
And the source for yet another MST3k joke is revealed.
|Jet Bin Fever |
The 80s man, the 80s!
I was born in 85 and remember them showing these commercials all the time. I got in trouble for doing that with my towel after a bath.
Thanks a lot you soap peddling assholes.
That first woman's bathroom is so huge it's got a fireplace. No wonder she's so leg kicking happy.
The whole "soap residue" malarky Zest pushed reached almost Republican-level stupidity when they had a "test" that "showed" how clean Zest made your arm. A woman ran her fingers down her damp forearm washed with Zest, and it had little friction. Her "soap" arm wasn't so slick, and her fingers (we have to take her word for this) couldn't zip down her flesh because (according to her) there was soap residue there.
This is in spite of the fact that soap is a lubricant, and that if you do wash away most of what's on your arm, that includes oils.
Also, Zest smells like an industrial solvent.
|Caminante Nocturno |
Nobody is supposed to be that happy while they're taking a fucking shower!
YOU'RE NOT ZESTFULLY CLEAN YET SCRUB HARDER SCRUB HARDER EVEN IF YOUR SKIN STARTS PEELING OFF YOU STILL WON'T BE ZESTFULLY CLEAN KEEP SCRUBBING EVEN IF YOU START EXPOSING MUSCLE TISSUE
It's amazing how many times this jingle pops into my head, even when there's nothing particularly zesty going on. God I hate it....
This was my brain in the 80s:
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
I'm allergic to Zest and I break out into a horrible rash if I use it.
I guess I'm just doomed to be forever unclean.
I blame this and commercials like its' coy down-to-the-chest nudity for various enduring fetishes
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