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Desc:Let none admire / That riches grow in hell; that soil may best / Deserve the precious bane.
Category:Advertisements, Horror
Tags:chocolate, golden corral
Submitted:oswaldtheluckyrabbit
Date:02/24/12
Views:3283
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Comment count is 40
cognitivedissonance
So the non-stop river... it never stops, you say?
Hooker
It is the alpha and the omega.

duck&cover
Come with me
And you'll be
In a world of
Pure imagination
Take a look
And you'll see
Into your imagination
Chancho
I'm going to stick my cock in it.
poorwill
Well OBVIOUSLY.

John Holmes Motherfucker
Yes, OBVIOUSLY. There are cooks, waiters, and busboys all over this fine nation just waiting for the chance to stick their cocks in there. If they get the chance, they'll do it. If they're caught, the Golden Corral people will prefer to deal with it in-house. Believe it, friends.

SolRo
I would never use a chocolate waterfall at a buffet, there is no sneeze guard in existance sufficient to keep it clean.

Also I would never use a buffet (that isnt chinese)
CIWB
The first thing I thought when I saw this commercial on TV is how disgusting this thing is going to be once it's been around Golden Corral's teenage staff and white trash customers for a day.

TeenerTot
I'm with you.

Candlejackv616
I thought the same exact thing when I watched this commercial for the first time "how the hell do you keep this thing clean??". Unless you have a guard of some sort nearby, and even then I doubt they could prevent multiple dipping and possible phallic entry into the wonderfall.

p.s.

The subpar porn music used makes this commercial grosser than it would have without it.

Cyberblah
Hygiene was the second thing I thought of. The first was amazement that they had chemically formulated fake chocolate cheap enough.

Fezren
Have you ever been to a casino buffet? The one near me is legit.

dead_cat
My first thought was how the hell do they keep the chocolate from getting all gunked up with bits of whatever is being dipped in it all day long?

John Holmes Motherfucker
We can do it. We have the technology.

KnowFuture
Putting in a chocolate fountain is almost like a reminder that theirs has the highest population of filthy urchins running around smearing their disgusting paws all over everything, of any buffet type restaurant.
Candlejackv616
Someone needs to submit the newest commercial with "actual" customers gushing over new additions to the dipping selection. somehow it turn me off to this thing more than I already was. Plus there's one guy in it that's way to excited to use that thing for his own good...and hes not even fat!
chumbucket
I can't wait to sample all of the airborne dander, dust, bugs and viruses this thing is bound to collect.

Crab Mentality
I actually noticed that they had to change the commercial. As you can see, they mention the macaroons and such you can dip in it.

I specifically remember the earlier version of the commercial had someone saying "You can dip anything you want in it".

Aside from the very obvious dick jokes, my mind goes to the typical Golden Corral customer, dipping a pork chop in there.

dead_cat
Or anything really strongly flavored, or in a lot of liquid. Some prankster and his friends might have spent days coming in for lunch and dinner and dipping clams and pickled jalapenos into it, and now the chocolate fountain makes everything dipped in it taste like shit.

Caminante Nocturno
I hope you like eating chocolate-covered vermin and garbage, because it'll take less than an hour for this thing to be full of them.
oswaldtheluckyrabbit
First youtube comment:

"So I went to a golden corral today, and I tried this out. Right as I dipped my marshmallow into it, some little kid reached over the little metal railing and just stuck his whole hand into it..."

chumbucket
There outta be a blog.

Volbard
Kids reaching in, licking their fingers, and reaching in again was my first thought. Gross.

This is turning into a cultural moment. Where were you when you first heard about the wonderfall? What disgusting thing did you picture first?

Jet Bin Fever
If you type Golden Corral Chocolate Wonderfall in Google it suggests adding "Gross" "Unsanitary" "Sanitary" "Germs" and of course "Price".

SolRo
Nevar Forget Chocholate/Wonderfall

pressed peanut sweepings
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6WQDqvyLMw
BHWW
I'm okay with the idea, so long as I'm the only one allowed to use - no one else is allowed to use it - it's all mine, do you HEAR ME, IT'S ALL MINE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
BHWW
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA OK I'm done

Chalkdust
all are powerless to its siren song:
http://i.imgur.com/VtJkg.jpg
pastorofmuppets
The Hershey's Valdez

Crab Mentality
I and here I am, having already given away my stars. That picture series made my day.

TheMarsTravolta
STARS, even if the picture is from Adam Sandler's Jack and Jill.

TheMarsTravolta
You know what? Let's kill the magic:

"When the bird is seen in a chocolate fountain, this was a fake bird (a real bird was only used for the first part of the scene when Poopsie approaches the fountain, which was a prop). "

Crab Mentality
Damn you to hell, Travolta!

memedumpster
"Only Golden Corral would introduce the luciously amazing chocolate wonderfall..."

My thoughts exactly.
OxygenThief
My uncle told me my introduction to the Chocolate Waterfall was our little secret.
Pope Caius
What a perfect device for poisoning a reasonable amount of this country's undesirables. Not enough to make a real dent in their numbers, but enough to shock the masses out of their idle grazing.

Or just feel the chocolate flow over my nipples for a few seconds. What's the harm?
Jet Bin Fever
It's important to note that this is a Wonderfall, not a shitty regular fountain or waterfall... it's full of WONDER! By wonder, of course, I mean germs.
Cube
AMERICANS NEED MORE CHOCOLATE! AND FASTER!
John Holmes Motherfucker
pepster77 6 months ago

>>I went there to eat the other night and it was the first time I saw this thing. I thought it was pretty cool at first but then some kid, like twelve years old, walked over and hawked one of the biggest loogies I've ever seen in my life right into this chocolate waterfall thing. I was like that's pretty gross kid. Then I went home and had a lot diarrhea that was also the explosive kind.


goldencorral 6 months ago

>>Pepster77, sorry you had a bad experience. Would you mind giving me some details, so I can follow up with the store directly? (date, time of day, and address of the location would be great). Thank you.
in reply to pepster77


Since poetv doesn't have a prime directive:

Blackbelt Jones 1 second ago

>>Dear Golden Corral: This a troll. You should just delete it.
in reply to goldencorral

I felt sorry for the poor bastards.
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