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Desc:'... of natural causes...'
Category:Accidents & Explosions, Accidents & Explosions
Tags:Tea Party, conservatives, Andrew Breitbart, OWS
Submitted:memedumpster
Date:03/01/12
Views:4225
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Comment count is 93
Spit Spingola
He was only 43? I thought he was at least as old as Billy Mays.
SDAusmus
Hard living had turned him into a shabby vagrant-looking dude, which ages you at least 10 years.

Ursa_minor
Good, the prick.
Cena_mark
Now come on that's no way to treat the death of your enemy. We conservatives didn't make fun of Ted Kennedy when he died.

longwinded
now this is some high quality trolling, because of course you know that Breitbart himself did so

catpenis27
If the US military's behavior over the last couple years towards enemies is any indication, apparently shitting in Breitbart's corpse and throwing it in the ocean isn't necessarily out of the question.

catpenis27
Goddammit, I wish I could delete my comment. Or at least change it to say something about those troops that peed on the Afghans. Don't drink and post I guess.

Cena_mark
Well I never said anything bad about Ted Kennedy when he died.

SteamPoweredKleenex
Ol' Brietbart did. Quite a lot, actually:

http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2009/08/26/57997/breitbart-k ennedy-twitter/

John Holmes Motherfucker
When Ted Kennedy died, Orin Hatch posted a memorial video on youtube that was flamed endlessly by enraged conservatives calling Orin "a RINO".

SteamPoweredKleenex
What "natural causes" kill you at age 43? A moose stampede?

I'm betting something a tad more embarrassing happened. My top three guesses would be meth overdose, autoerotic asphyxiation, or some kind of wacky "protect our bodily fluids" dietary supplement that's normally used for things like killing termites or opening clogged drains.
Triggerbaby
Over at the The Exiled they're implying that he tripped on a sidewalk.

takewithfood
Shouldn't the phrase "natural causes" only rule out wizards and vampires and the like?

memedumpster
OWS raped and murdered him to death.

pastorofmuppets
Natural actually refers to the place of death. It has to be outside of a laboratory.

That guy
No, "natural causes" means not from Splenda or Sweet'n Low or Deus ex Machina.

SolRo
wiki says he suddenly collapsed while walking at night.

god struck him down!

fatatty
He actually suffocated due to a number of penises being in his mouth at one time. Of course they would say he was just out for a walk. You really think that man exercises?

SteamPoweredKleenex
Something's going to have to go on the death certificate. I don't think they use "old age" or "natural causes" anymore because medical science can actually tell what caused you to snuff it.

Maybe his hate gland exploded.

Scrotum H. Vainglorious
Goodnight, asshole.
Hekmatyar
Who cares that Andrew (Who the fuck was he?) Breitbart is dead? Bring back Poe News Goddess dammit!!!
fedex
who the fuck are you?

memedumpster
A Poenewsian crotch hugger! Get the flame thrower and page Caminante Nocturno!

Udderdude
PoE News being dead is a good thing.

Come at me bro.

Caminante Nocturno
PoE News was killed from within by disease and sickness.

Cena_mark
... I hope its not contagious.

jangbones
it was only a matter of time before bo-newsers started trying to troll here

kingofthenothing
5 for Hekmatyar even posting here. Holy crap. I thought you'd be up to your neck in Martian gold by now.

NewHeavenSalesman
Someone should keep his journalistic principles alive and post a picture of his bloated corpse post-autopsy.
Ursa_minor
*****
This.


dek863
Goodnight, asshole.
dairyqueenlatifah
I had to look him up on Wikipedia to find out who the hell he was.

After further reading, I somehow doubt the crowd of people mourning his death will be notably large.
fedex
did you see the comments?

"I'm crestfallen," Rick Santorum told reporters traveling with his campaign. "What a powerful force. What a huge loss, in my opinion, for our country and certainly for the conservative movement."

"RIP 'O Mighty Warrior!" Texas Gov. Rick Perry wrote on Twitter.

"Andrew lived boldly, so that we more timid souls would dare to live freely and fully, and fight for the fragile liberty he showed us how to love." - his own website

I could go on....but I think the right is going to martyr him somehow and that funeral will be packed


Spit Spingola
His tombstone should be shaped like Anthony Weiner's dong.

Mr.Rogers
This death is of someone whose name would not bring a faith glimmer of recognition to 95% of a nation's populous, whose greatest achievements where measured by the hypernews cycle, and whose mourning is estimated, by his peers, to last a day mainly by a self-selecting subset of an ephemeral digital community.

In an era of grand histrionics, this is refreshing moment of appropriate response to tragedy.

chumbucket
"a patriot"
Caminante Nocturno
When you get to Hell, say hi to Reagan for me.
Spaceman Africa
Shirley Sherrod got the last laugh.
Maru
Nice.
StanleyPain
If drinking yourself to death qualifies as "natural causes."
Pillager
What? Coca plants are natural....

American Standard
Good. Let me know where they bury him, so I can dance on the grave.
Rudy
Careful of the urine.

American Standard
I'm hoping all the spit will thin it out a little.

Riskbreaker
Maybe he was getting ready to fight the innevitable war against liberals, and the shotgun went off right infront of his face.
Bootymarch
"In the hours immediately following Senator Ted Kennedy's death, Breitbart called Kennedy a "villain", a "duplicitous bastard", a "prick"[15] and "a special pile of human excrement.""

In the hours immediately following Andrew Breitbart's death, the Portal of Evil called Breitbart...
Caminante Nocturno
... Exactly what he deserved to be called.

Ursa_minor
What the fuck is this false equivalency with Ted Kennedy vs Andrew Breitbart?

Spit Spingola
Yeah, Andrew never drove a car into a lake.

Anaxagoras
Automobile accidents are the mark of the devil, apparently.

TeenerTot
Yeah, the guy was an A-1 ass.
I can't take too much joy in anyone dying so young, tho.
My stars are for how the right will make a saint out of the dude.
takewithfood
43. He had a wife and 4 kids. Pretty brutal.

SteamPoweredKleenex
That all five somehow intermingled with his DNA? Yeah, but him dying didn't change that.

garcet71283
Yay, lets all celebrate the death of somebody who doesn't agree with us. If everyone who didn't agree with us was dead the world would be a better place.

But in all seriousness, going with hookers and cocaine.
Chalkdust
Far from him just espousing a different viewpoint, Breitbart's two biggest 'legacies' (the Shirley Sherrod scandal and the dissolution of the ACORN organization) were built on falsehoods, selective editing, manufactured controversy and outright lies.

And here I was, afraid we'd have to have this guy around another 40 years.

dairyqueenlatifah
It's not that I didn't agree with him. It's that he was a attention whore demagogue liar who caused a hard time for other people in the process.

I can't take joy in death, no matter how much of a prick he was, but still, fuck anyone who makes this guy out to be a hero.

jangbones
he succeeded in smearing and injuring innocent people, ostensibly because of his political beliefs, but more likely for his own personal fame and fortune

even if he was being disingenuous about his political leanings, his results were unambiguous, and clearly he was a bad person

what did Twain say about wishing someone dead?

StanleyPain
Yes, because calling out a shitheel on the immoral, unethical garbage that he did throughout his life is the same thing as wishing him dead.

Fuck him and fuck "respecting" him.

SteamPoweredKleenex
This is what's interesting about this sort of thing. When someone who is known for basically lying his ass off for profit, name-calling, being a douche, etc. dies and someone says something not unlike what the deceased would say, that person is called out by the deceased's fans. As if such behavior were beyond the pale, even though the dead guy they're venerating did the EXACT SAME THING and it didn't cause said fans to even blink.

When Rush Limbaugh passes away, his adherents should expect a whole crapload of what he dished out. While it's not "right" in either case, the dittoheads will have no place to complain.

cognitivedissonance
AIDS is not a natural cause.
charmlessman
Thank you, cocaine.

I mean, awwww...
Meerkat
It is now being reported that he literally choked on a bag of salted dicks.
cognitivedissonance
"shooting speedballs into his glans"

Cockmaster Flash
Or Anthony Weiner's salted dick.

hammsangwich
Salted dicks.

John Holmes Motherfucker
Actually, it was the sodium that got him.

Spit Spingola
http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/blogs/taibblog/andrew-breitba rt-death-of-a-douche-20120301

Probably the best Breitbart eulogy I've seen.
jangbones
Very good

Pareene's is also excellent;

http://www.salon.com/2012/03/01/what_andrew_breitbart_made_and _what_made_him/singleton/

Spit Spingola
So Breitbart became a right winger because the radio stopped playing The Cure and Echo and the Bunnymen in the 90's and he turned the channel to Rush Limbaugh. Maybe he blames the left wing for Pearl Jam? So bizarre.

themilkshark
I'm not happy he is dead, but I have always had a strong distaste for this guy and everything he's done in the public eye. His character assassination of Anthony Wiener was deplorable, especially considering the whole scandal was entirely non-scandalous.
Cockmaster Flash
Obama killed him, just like he killed Vince Foster.
MrBuddy
PoeTV comments: Predictably classy
CornOnTheCabre
"The best tribute we can pay to Andrew Breitbart is to continue screaming at each other over the internet."
-Michael Ian Black

MrBuddy
"...Above all, what I'm thinking of at the moment is his amazing wife Susie and their four beautiful young children. My love and thoughts are with them right now." -Arianna Huffington

"We should put our political and social differences aside at a time like this. It (death) humanizes people in a way that transcends politics." -Paul Krassner

"From all accounts, Andrew was a good family man who loved his wife and children, and I want to extend my sincere condolences for their loss." -Charles Johnson

"The news of Mr. Breitbart’s death came as a surprise to me when I was informed of it this morning. My prayers go out to Mr. Breitbart’s family as they cope through this very difficult time." -Shirley Sherrod

CornOnTheCabre
what a bunch of assholes!

Pompoulus
Hey look it's our resident milquetoast conservative, Mr. Buddy!

SteamPoweredKleenex
They're far classier than Brietbart's twitter-eulogies for Kennedy.

The man was a douchebag.

John Holmes Motherfucker
I would like to extend my sincere condolences to the lunatic's family.

Anaxagoras
Ah. So the asshole loved his family? Then all sins are forgotten!

Hooray, Breitbart! A king among men!

SolRo
does it work in reverse?

Like it's totally cool to gloat over a dead person that was good to everyone but a dick to his family?

Robin Kestrel
Nothing in his life became him like the leaving it.

Good fucking riddance.
Jet Bin Fever
So that throbbing vein in his forehead finally burst. Tragic.
Oscar Wildcat
I've been struggling all day to think of one positive thing this man did. I came up completely blank, until just this moment it hit me. He died at a young age.
Blue
Let's not forget the score here:

Breitbart: I'm a conservative blogger in a political environment where nearly everything conservatives say is an outright lie. I have a video!

Democrats: ...

Breitbart: You may remember me as that guy that tricks democrats with selectively edited videos. Not only have I been caught doing this exact shit before, but it was all over the fucking news!

Democrats: Holy shit, that's just as compelling as the last time we fell for this shit! Where the fuck do we sign?
THA SUGAH RAIN
So you ideologically disagree with the man. Where does all this vitriol come from? Did he kill your baby or something? You guys act like a bunch of children some times. Let it go, move on.
Corpus Delectable
Well, if by "ideologically disagree with" you mean "differ from him in thinking you shouldn't poison journalism by manufacturing lies out of thin air to the detriment of the country and the most essential parts of civil society," then yes, it's as trivial as that.

I'm glad the stupid lying fucker is dead because I "ideologically disagree with" him.

fedex
WHERE IS THA SUGAH RAIN?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HIM?!

cognitivedissonance
And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

Chalkdust
By spearheading the destruction of a wide-reaching and highly successful community organizer (ACORN) which had mobilized hundreds of thousands of low-income people to become politically active, thus furthering the conservative cause of disenfranchising impoverished and minority Americans, he may have killed a lot more than babies.

BillyCrystalNinjaTurtle
"they" = he
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbB_HVcXpPk&feature=related
Spaceman Africa
Has it been a year already?
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