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Comment count is 21
SolRo - 2012-03-03

Try heroin before suicide.


craptacular - 2012-03-03

I was thinking how that might actually work, but then his heart's probably so weak already that it would probably just give out under the strain of his fatness and ol' harry


SolRo - 2012-03-03

either way, problem solved.


Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2012-03-03

Only in America.


Riskbreaker - 2012-03-03

Yeah, the internet is the first place you should go to ask for help.


mashedtater - 2012-03-03

if i can stop one extra sized hoagie from being eaten, i shall not live in vain.
if i can ease one chair from creaking,
or one cry for help through blogging,
or stop bedsores developing,
or help one obese twenty something
through a normal sized door
i shall not live in vain.


themilkshark - 2012-03-03

What he's hoping others are willing to do:

Come find him, plan out a strategy that will make him lose weight, teach and enforce a weight loss regimen, motivate him to have the will power and determination to stick with a diet and exercise lifestyle

What he's willing to do:

Cry on Youtube, eat


Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2012-03-03

And a reality TV show on TLC.


Paracelsus - 2012-03-03

Exactly.


EnochEmery - 2012-03-03

tapeworms.


Rodents of Unusual Size - 2012-03-04

The movie Slither has become reality.


dairyqueenlatifah - 2012-03-03

Sorry, I couldn't hear your whining over the oh so befitting country music playing in the background.

Seriously, what do people do to make themselves this fat? I eat whatever I want whenever I feel like it, and spend the majority of my free time sitting on my ass.

I can't imagine how much someone has to consume in a given time period to make the human body do this.


Rodents of Unusual Size - 2012-03-04

My sister is up to 350 lbs now.

I visited her last Christmas and couldn't eat anything. She put cheese, butter, and cream sauce on almost everything. Vegetables were usually frozen and heated up in the microwave. I invited her to go to Trader Joes with me but she wouldn't because "it wasn't her type of place" and she was afraid to go inside.

She also had assloads of chocolate and candy. I know it was the holidays but holy fuck.


dairyqueenlatifah - 2012-03-04

Jesus Christ....


kingofthenothing - 2012-03-03

He's not a person, am I right? Eh? Eh? Just like all those niggers and fucking queers and spics and chinks and goddamn JEWS and parasites on the motherfucking economy, and those piece of shit liberal commie socialist muslims. Fuck fatties. The Chinese were right. Shove all this pigs in a pit and cover them up with dirt.


CIWB - 2012-03-03

Counterpoint: niggers and queers didn't make themselves niggers and queers by consuming more food daily than a Chinese village consumes in a year.


memedumpster - 2012-03-04

Fat people weren't the first to the North Pole and they didn't invent peanut butter, or an empire of their own based on Egypt. Also, fat people didn't survive the invasion of Babylon and rewrite their religion to endure thousands of years of being conquered. As for spics and chinks, their historic achievements are likewise amazing and endless.

How much do you weigh and what have you done today?


Rodents of Unusual Size - 2012-03-04

what memedumpster said.

Not that I have no pity, mind you. My sister could die from being overweight, but she's doing it to herself without getting help. This guy should have gotten therapy a long time ago. And yes, he could have afforded it. You don't get to 600 lbs on a limited budget.


Mr. Purple Cat Esq. - 2012-03-03

I pity this guy, it must be hard in the USA where high-fructose corn syrup is cheaper than clean water... But I am wondering if you *really* need to lose the weight that bad could you not get a relative or good friend to literally lock you up for few months and prvide you with a steadily dwindling but balanced ration of healthy food and water?


The Mothership - 2012-03-04

'rag on a stick' tag would be totally appropriate here.


Lulumacabre - 2012-03-13

Eternal Syrup


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