just take my stars and go away.

My brother got this a long long time ago at a comic convention and we got together with a bunch of friends and watched it cuz it was hilarious. We were all having a good time, laughing at how horrible it was, but one of our friends liked it a little bit TOO much, and he really, really, really wanted to borrow it so he could "watch" it alone at his house. So many stars for reminding me to make fun of my friend so hard later today because of it!

Back in the army, I had this buddy. Let's call him "Irving". Old Irv, he was a piece of work. Six foot five, built like a rake, and seven teeth in his mouth- three on the top, four on the bottom. Before the war, he'd worked as a porn cinema janitor in one of the more civilized parts of Montana. On our downtime, he used to read (and I suspect write) hundred page Harry Potter macro/vore fanfictions, plus he was a big fan of L Ron Hubbard's science fiction stories (although he disavowed any connection with the CoS).

Anyway, we used to get our mail in final formation, and our NCOs checked every last package right there in front of us, looking for contraband like booze and cigarettes and Percoset bottles (our unit was notorious for smuggling no-no goods). This one day in the middle of summer, Irv gets a package from Amazon. He goes up to the front of the formation, and our toughest, bitchiest female sergeant (the one who'd been docked three pay grades for kicking a mouthy private in the nuts so hard he needed testicular surgery) cracks open the box. She reaches in, looks down, and pauses. Stares into the box for a good ten seconds. Squints, turns to Irving, and shouts "Private! What the FUCK is THIS?"

"This" was Sailor and the 7 Ballz. In all it's horrible, raunchy, NSFW glory.

Man, the CoC had a field day with Irv for that one. He claimed he'd bought it "by accident", not knowing what it was, but his protests fell on deaf ears. Six months later, and every time he got a package, people STILL asked him about this damn movie. It wasn't just fun and games at the time, ohhh no- our CO added "anime and cartoon-related DVDs" to the growing list of UCJM'able contraband as a result of Sailor-gate, and Lord knows what Irv must have been going through every time our resident "hot Hawaiian Signals chick" asked him about cartoons fucking. And the worst part? The very worst part? The movie is utter shite, nowhere near worth the months of degradation and pain it brought to our merry band, and having downloaded it off Limewire back in '04 or so, I could have TOLD him that had he just thought to ask. But now that it's over, now that the horror has passed and the wounds have healed, I can look back and smile. Oh Sailor and the 7 Ballz, if only you knew how deeply you touched our lives...

My masochistic side has a penchant for looking at the worst animation has to offer and sitting through it. I think I will find the nearest download and cringe for the next hour.

Is this a Sega CD game or what?

True story: I saw this. The whole thing. On Laserdisc. It was my freshman year of high school, and I was hanging out at this furry girl's house helping her watch her little sisters while her parents were at a dungeon party.

TRUE STORY. LASTING MEMORIES.

I didn't know what it was called until now. So um thanks?