That's not just a card game, that's Magic: The Gathering. Get it right or pay the price.
Lisping is the official speech impediment of nerds
"I'm loshing my payshensh."
|MacGyver Style Bomb |
Not to say shit like this doesn't actually go down, mind...
Yeah, that's youtuber Boogie2988, who went viral making that "Fat guy nerd rages about WoW" video. He's doing a character.
Smells like a work, but I'll mark for it anyway.
|Binro the Heretic |
I stopped playing Magic when the only people left for me to play with were assholes like this. I saw plenty of them throw similar tantrums over the most arbitrary bullshit. And these were just supposed to be "friendly" social games, mind you. I never had the nerve to check out an actual tournament.
You could really piss them off by taking more than two seconds to pick a card to put into play.
I stopped around 4th edition, when they started advertising on TV and it was suddenly overrun by middle school kids, instead of being a mixture of high school nerds and college kids.
What cured me from Magic The Gatheirng were the twenty to thirty-something guys who would plonk down hundreds of dollars to buy whole boxes of cards, show up at the weekly games at the local comic book shop with thick binders of cards to brag, and berate the middle school and elementary kids for some stupid infraction. I think it was some time after the Ice Age edition I finally decided I could do more with my time and money. That and the cards with my favorites illustrations didn't make for effective decks.
Binro the Heretic
Oh, God, I forgot about the guys with the massive collections. They would come in with huge binders and shoe boxes loaded with cards. I knew of at least a couple of dudes with rolling suitcases full of cards.
I think I had maybe fifty bucks sunk into my "collection" which was enough to cobble together one decent deck. These guys had a deck for every conceivable situation. Most of the time they had rare game-breaking cards that would utterly crush an opponent in a few turns unless said opponent had the even rarer cards to counter them.
I had a huge collection, full of early rare cards, thanks to this autistic kid my dad taught. His parents convinced him to get rid of his cards "for his own good", so he donated them to me. What got me to stop playing was when my dad sliced my cards into pieces and threw them in the dumpster, after becoming convinced they had some satanic influence. What finally convinced me not playing anymore was the right choice was an incident many years later, at a comic book store. There was an MTG tournament going on in the back, maybe a dozen ten year old kids... and one 400lbs neckbearded homeless man. He looked up at me, our eyes met for a good five seconds, and it's just... the LOOK he gave me. Beaten and exhausted. Like everything human had died inside, years ago.
It still haunts me to this day.
I never played any of these collectable card games, because I'm, y'know, such a cool guy - the coolest, even - but I did work for a stint at a combination bookstore/hobby store and on Fridays & Saturdays they would have tournaments for card games like Magic and Pokemon.
Mostly the players were kids, normal kids from like 8 to mid-teens, average kids but the adults who would show up to play, hoooooooooooooly crap.
An assortment of guys who looked like adult sized 9-year olds with neckbeards and adult acne, fat guys who looked and smelled like they hadn't taken a shower in months and had dried foodstains on their shirts, etc. etc.
The store had more problems with the nominal adults than they did with the kids - These so-called grownups would cause all sorts of problems including starting arguements with the kids and their parents. They had no idea how to behave appropriately in public. Several of them had to be kicked out for having freakouts or shouting at little kids.
We played for a while, deciding to hoover up some cheap cards from the thrift stores (you know how much that worthless crap costs new, Jesus Christ). We played steadily until we discovered that game with the little plastic sailing ships is a trillion times better in every respect.
The ones you punch out and put together and it comes with tiny dice? I was always curious about that, maybe I'll finally pick up a few packs.
I played from just after Legends broke to about Ice Age. I hung it up when I realized someone in my circle of what I had considered friends had stolen cards from me. That was the sign that this had crossed the boundary of something fun you did with friends.
He sounds exactly like Patton Oswalt doing his nerd voice.
|Caminante Nocturno |
Ice Age was the best expansion.
I never should have sold my collection to pay rent. I barely ever even played it past middle school, and mostly for the novelty... I was one of those guys who arranged his cards by favorites, not which ones broke the game the fastest. Loved the art and flavor text.
Ice Age was great, Fallen Empires was a misstep (way too much reliance on token creatures and they overestimated how popular it would be, flooding the market). I really enjoyed the next two big blocks... Mirage and Tempest... my interest finally fell off during the Urza Wars and I've never really looked back.
The game did introduce me to a ton of awesome fantasy artists, though, and for that I will be eternally grateful.
This is my ANGRY face! >:o
|Hubba Bubba Nightmare |
This is fake, this what this guy has always done, he used to do it with WoW and now he does other random shit
Oh man sorry guy, thanks for fighting the good fight :P
Yes. It's called a "joke". You might want to look it up. Most humans enjoy these from time to time.
Oh no really? Fake?
Oh god what have I done
so....does he get to keep the cards?
Back when I played, loser had to clean up.
Video is down.
I never got the appeal of collectable card games. So much money and prep time involved for a game where it mostly boiled down to who spent the most money to have the best chance at getting the best cards. And even after all that it ended up being less fun and balanced than some standalone card game you paid $20 for once.
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