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Desc:Spoiler: not really a date.
Tags:romance, women, Catholicism, white people
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Comment count is 26
The Mothership
That's right ladies, Jesus loves it when you get all tarted up to see him.
5 minutes into her date she's on her knees with her mouth open, "accepting the body of Christ".

Well that was depressing, until you came along and made it all make sense.

"Let uth prclmth the mythhtry off fthh!"

Invisible retrostars



Stars for you.

Also, when did American Catholicism get like this? Granted, no one in my immediate family has attended church for at least 15 years and even then only on Christmas and Easter (and everyone's pretty much an atheist or agnostic now)... but I went to Catholic school as a child and i don't remember it ever being that evangelical. It's scary to me on a cultural level here, guys.

Oh, I love going to see him. He's a great listener, has sick abs, and you should see the way he's hung.

Sometimes I feel like he's a bit judgmental though. He never says anything, but still.

http://people.tribe.net/vespertine/blog/c0c15900-e0a7-40bd-b1fd-32 fd480cf5cd
A small chapel with a drop ceiling, recessed lighting and cheap, Velvet-Elvis quality triptych. This sums up the modern Catholic church better than anything else.
Jet Bin Fever
Yeah, I know it's married to Jesus and all, but the church has really let itself go.

Oscar Wildcat
Keep your pimp hand strong, JC.
And tell the ho to turn the other cheek.

Corpus Delectable
Pure evil about pure evil, delivered with unprecedented evil purity.
The date went great, but the sex was *really* awkward.
yeah sure but everyone knows that the second coming is better

Only because it takes so damn long.

I misread the ending text as "Find abortion at a Catholic parish near you" for a second there, and was confused.
Church? On Friday night? Must be one of those "ethnic" religions.
Innocent Bystander
Yeah! Who needs human contact when you have pictures? Pictures of Jesus.
Rodents of Unusual Size
It was really awkward when Jesus came home and was like "oh not you again".
I can't think of anything as funny as the comments already posted. Stars for y'all.
Jesus loves you.

He's just not "in love" with you ...
I guess she chose not to go back to his place.
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