So you're telling me that these two stunning primates were her only options for a mate?

6:35 for the results if you can't bear to sit through the rest.

There's a lot of vampire larp in this guy's history.

Everyone's going to know this guy's middle and last names someday.

PUSH THE BUTTON
FIND OUT

Made it to 1:09 laughing in disgust in all directions. Camera op, editor, "awww" lady in audience, YOU'RE ALL GUILTY.

oh my god they are even cutting promos on each other

"Jeremy's the one I wanted to be with"
= "Yeah Jeremy's got masturbatin' eyes but Nick can't hold down a job"

Everyone in this, like most Maury clips, suck.

dat stare

He's pretty crazy. I like that.

I have more power than you, Goku!

He's nuts, and he's also the least disgusting excuse for a human being I've ever seen on Maury.

Go figure.

Sort of how I picture Nick Bravo's biological father.

Kind of like a fat Tobias Beecher.

And yeah, he comes off as weird, but I don't think it's "masturbating with his mother's severed hand" weird so much as "weeps after sex" weird.

ONE MOTHER, TWO MEN, 3 BABIES, WELCOME TO THUNDERDOME!

Is this the best Tim and Eric sketch?

don't we have a "crazy eyes" tag?

SO, wait. Where's the third baby? Or, is the man with the glasses the third baby, too?

is her name Canvas?

Weep, ye tired apes. Weep.