|WHO WANTS DESSERT |
Deus Ex: Human Revolution meets Mass Effect 2
This might be the first remake I know of that is better than the original.
though that might be because, while the original is campy fun, it was not a great movie by most standards.
The original was pretty much perfect. This will be terrible.
The only remake I can think of that was better thn the original was The Fly. And possibly The Ting (80s version; there's an even newer remake, I think, but that undoubtedly sucks).
"The original?" Have you read the Philip K. Dick story? It shares a title, a place where you can get implanted memories, and kinda-sorta the concept of an undercover agent who worked on Mars who may or may not have had his memories erased. From there, they've got about as much in common as Star Wars and Apollo 13.
Pretty sure SolRo meant the original film adaptation, not the PKD story (which doesn't share a name, in fact).
He's still dead wrong though. Somehow I doubt this will have the graphic, bloody violence that made the original so great.
I meant they share a company name for the macguffin in question.
My point is that the 80's movie is so far removed from the source material that complaints about whatever this film is are pretty much moot. One would be saying that the liberties taken with the story are the liberties you want to see again, I guess.
Not to mention that nobody here has said anything about the TV show that the movie inspired...
I'll be reserving my stars until it is revealed if the three-boobed alien made it into the remake or not, thank you very much.
"Get your ass to mars" video to himself better still be in the script.
Unfortunately, this movie doesn't leave Earth and doesn't have mutants, so sorry to spoil everyone's fun. The story is entirely political and Quato is now just some futuristic Che Guevara or something. They just took the original film and made it into some wrote, basic action movie. But hey, with all the money they'll save on not having to do any sort of outer space or mutant FX, they can afford a really, really shitty licensed soundtrack!
You mean that they made it more like the original story? What sort of horrible blasphemy is that? Don't they understand that there are people who don't read?
The "original story" involves Mars and mutants and an entire super-agent fantasy based around Mars.
WHO WANTS DESSERT
It's the ultimate paradox of remakes: People will bitch that it is simultaneously too different and too similar to the original no matter what they do.
|William Burns |
Total Recall, put through a blender, filtered through a Matrix and thrown against a green screen. Looks highly forgettable.
Will suffer in comparison to the original due to it's total lack of Michael Ironside.
Michael Ironside can't fix everything. See:
Heavy Metal 2000.
Starship Troopers (yes, one could enjoy this film, but it's was pretty fucking stupid).
This doesn't look very interesting at all, it's a bunch of metal flying around with skin shots thrown into the mix.
And minus ten million stars for no three boobed mutants.
Collin Farrell!? Not The Rock? Brock Lesnar? Or even that dude who played Khal Drogo and totally looks like Kratos?
What the fuck, Hollywood. What the dancing, three-boobed, fuckity fuck.
So is it a remake or is it just another adaptation of the original Philip K. Dick story?
From what I gather, the answer is: Yes.
They're planning on incorporating some tropes from the Ah-nold movie (the tri-titted prostitute, for example), but whether or not it's more like the PKD story depends on how they handle what's "real" and what's from Rekall.
If it's more of a mind-screw, it's closer to Dick's story, I guess. Given how short it was, it's kind of hard to even stretch the original to a feature-length film, let alone one that involves a ton of action.
Awesome! So when does it come out?
Two weeks. Two weeks. Two weeks...
|Oscar Wildcat |
It's set in THE FUTURE! And how do we know this?
In the future, your wife will put on makeup before she goes to sleep.
In the future, people will spend a lot more time kicking each other than they do, even now!
In the future, guns are even more cool. Pew pew pew.
In the future, monster trucks ..can fly!
In the future, no one will understand writers like Phil Dick.
I would love to see some of Dick's post-apocalyptic work adapted, but by and large, his better stories are basically sci-fi LSD trips. They still plan on adapting Ubik to film at some point, I think.
"Imposter" with Tony Shalhoub wasn't bad, overall. Not a big-budget blockbuster, but not awful.
A Scanner Darkly was my favorite PKD book and the movie passed my nerd rage detection.
I refused to see A Scanner Darkly because it's also my favorite PKD book and Waking Life was just fucking terrible, like the worst things about the second Matrix movie (high school calibre discussion of 20th century philosophy) but done in Squiggle Vision. Garbage.
Zircon, a Scanner Darkly was good, we went to roast it and left the theater rightly depressed. I say this as someone who thought Waking Life was awful beyond reason.
Yet another piece of shit movie I will never watch. Hollywood as usual.
Same, I will never watch this movie. But I will watch the original once or twice again before I die.
I've watched far shittier things than this will likely be. I'll probably end up watching it once it leave the theaters; then I'll hate myself for squandering 2 hours of my life.
|Jet Bin Fever |
The original is still fun and silly to watch over 20 years later. I'm betting my money that no one will remember this even exists outside of the meganerd community even one year from now.
Jet Bin Fever
Yeah, I guess you're right that absolutely everything has an (usually undeserving) fanbase on the internet. So, maybe the entirety of entertainment is covered.
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
Oh wow, I don't hate this! I actually like this!
It will have enough green screened CGI to be trite, and be just enough like the original to contain absolutely nothing new or interesting.
and note to filmmakers: the green filter in The Matrix was relevant and fitting to the story. You don't have to use it for EVERY sci-fi movie.
If it's not green, it's teal and orange.
And EVERYTHING is CGI now, even movies/TV that don't really need it since the real world is what they're trying to show in the background. Some of them can't even get it right, like "The Walking Dead." I enjoy that show, but it has characters standing in front of some of the fakiest skylines and horizons I've seen this side of a painted canvas backdrop in a stiff breeze.
Guys? This was directed by Len Wiseman. He directed 1) the Underworld series and 2) Live Free or Die Hard and 3) nothing else. He's batting .000. I fear your optimism is misplaced.
lmfao what a turd.
Nice effects. Too bad the actors and characters they play will more than likely suck donkey balls.
Too bad we'll never get a film adaptation of the actual story. It's not bad.
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