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Desc:Yet another monstrosity designed for foreign palettes.
Category:Classic TV Clips, Horror
Tags:horror, Pizza Hut, What Hath Pizza Hut Wrought, Crown Crust Burger
Submitted:cognitivedissonance
Date:04/25/12
Views:3215
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Resubmit:The Mothership

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Comment count is 40
Kabbage
No fucking way
MongoMcMichael
This looks like something that should've been tested in the Midwest first (he says to himself bitterly).
NewHeavenSalesman
I'm pretty sure the unanimous results of that testing would have been to double the cheese and remove that tiny handful of two-week-old vegetables.

cognitivedissonance
Midwest, Middle East, really no big difference after all this time and kerfuffle.

fedex
yeah the veggies are more like a garnish than something to be actually ingested I think

The Mothership
A company that makes an American version of an Italian food, selling an insane version of an American food mixed with a nasty version of an Italian food, marketed with generic European royalty imagery to a Middle Eastern palate, which is where the company is now trying to sell its food. Imagine the steps and prerequisites that had to be in place to make this happen. One could write a tome akin to 'To the Finland Station' to describe the historical processes behind this monstrosity.
That guy
These 5 stars are an honorarium for your future scholarship.

duck&cover
Didn't the Onion have a story about fast food companies testing what they can get Americans to eat?
Bort
Yessir! (Ma'am? Either way.)

http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=40522

pastorofmuppets
haha I forgot that a pizza with burgers thrown on it is one of the ideas.

Caminante Nocturno
I can imagine myself being high enough to actually eat this, but I can't imagine myself being high enough to avoid regretting it immediately after.
THA SUGAH RAIN
"Special Sauce" reminds me of KFC's secret blend of herbs and spices which one employee described as "Yeah its just MSG"
Potrod
The goofy stuff fast food companies come out with in other countries doesn't shock me, but 5 stars for the first 9 seconds.
Braze
A little strange, but I'd eat it.
Caminante Nocturno
Yeah, but it really seems like the kind of thing you 'd eat by yourself, in a dark room, while watching something you'd never watch with someone else.

duck&cover
Yes, hide your shame.

Jet Bin Fever
I can't wait for fast food slush that I can sip through a straw without chewing.
fedex
just go break your neck and you can enjoy it the rest of your life

Hooker
A lot of thought went into this.
pastorofmuppets
And yet, not enough.

Oscar Wildcat
The fact that it resembles the tentacled face of Cthulhu is no accident. There is no legitimate reason for this thing to exist.
Xenocide
I choose to interpret this ad as the story of one Pizza Hut employee's beautiful revenge.

"Oh, you want a cheeseburger, sir? You think that's funny? You think we don't hear that joke fifty times a night? Okay, bitch. I'm going to go back into the kitchen and have them concoct the most disgusting pile of curds and animal flesh any human has ever beheld, and then I'm going to stand RIGHT HERE while you and your braying chorus of idiots chokes down every last bite.

"And when you spend two hours on the toilet shitting out your small intestine tomorrow, be sure to think of me, okay?

"Yeah, that's right, I'm in a bad mood. Have you seen the stupid little hats they make us wear?"
The Townleybomb
So apparently the Middle East is full of sloppy fat fucks?
STABFACE
Yup:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obesity_in_the_Middle_East_and_No rth_Africa

SteamPoweredKleenex
I think Pizza Hut made a pie for the Brits that has hotdog in the crust and cheese sauce for dipping it.

I think Scotland and its environs have out done America in the "population most likely to consume anything that has more calories than vitamins" contest.
The Mothership
the Scots invented deep fried salad. And television. God bless em.

Protoseth
Aww man.. I misread the title as "Clown Crust" pizza.

My sense of morbid fascination was extinguished once I realized there wasn't going to be any kind of confetti exploding out of the crust. I mean, still an entertaining concept, but man... clown crust..
sosage
I thought this was going to be about Pizza Hut's new pizza with cheesy bites as crust:

http://justaddcheese.com/2010/12/03/food-porn-fridays-cheesy-b ites-pizza-pizza-hut/

I didn't think they would find a way to make the cheesy bites crust look like a healthy option.
cognitivedissonance
The obvious inevitable result, if ordered, would look absolutely nothing like the advertisement, but we all knew that anyway.
candyheadrobot
love how the beginning starts off with the horror film dramatic triple close up on Pizza Hut's logo. usually it's to foreshadow, only in this scenario, you actually get to see what you should be afraid of. this one actually makes the hot dog crust look appealing.
Blue
I want a pizza with tacos on it. Does everybody else want tacos? We should all go to Pizza Hut to see if they can give us a pizza with tacos on it. Apparently this happens enough that Pizza Hut has decided to capitalize on these situations where nobody wants pizza but they go to Pizza Hut anyway. Is Pizza Hut like the Waffle House in the middle east?
Blue
Damn it. Now I actually do want a pizza made of tacos.

Redford
This is the true danger of posting on POETV.

cognitivedissonance
Papa Murphy's makes it. https://www.news-gazette.com/sites/all/files/imagecache/lightbox_8 00_600_scale/images/2012/01/11/taco_grande.JPG

Redford
DANGER FOUND!

fatatty
Hey the middle east has a lot of fat catching up to do. We've been at it for years, it only makes sense to fast track them to the future of fat.
Rudy
So now Pizza Hut has a special sauce? Is it ranchonnaise?
mashedtater
it is essence of high school dropouts and the bitter tears of a newly graduated graduate of philosophy

The God of Biscuits
Ok, this is fucking ridiculous, but I'm gonna be that commie liberal who quotes NPR here:

"It's actually pretty similar to the way ethnic cuisine is marketed to the U.S., Hudson tells The Salt. She calls it 'the China Buffet Effect,' after those all-you-can-eat establishments where Americans pile lo mein and Kung Pao chicken next to crab Rangoon and fortune cookies, without regard for regional boundaries. The average Chinese person might find it weird to put those foods together on one plate. But to the average American, who can't tell Szechuan from Hunan cuisine, it's all just 'Chinese' food."
That guy
Or like piling monkeyheads in lead sauce and milipedes in insecticide next to cadmium-fermented duck, amiright?
Totally different regions.

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