someone should tell this woman that nutella, despite the advertising, isn't actually healthy at all
her skin reminds me of the hotdogs at gas stations, just rotating under that heat lamp.
|American Standard |
Blacker than the black men reporting on her story.
But seriously tanning a six-year-old readhead? Good god.
IT'S A GOLEM MADE OF SLIM JIMS! WE'RE DOOMED!
Are you sure it's a golem? I could swear there's an illustration of her in the old "Tomb of Horrors" module.
When I'm 60 my skin will still be smooth and elastic from a lifetime of avoiding sunshine and hard work.
"I've been tanning my whole life..."
The new black face.
The Michael Jackson effect for white people.
I've met some R.A. Salvatore fans, but this is ridiculous.
|Jet Bin Fever |
It's always a good sign when the preview frame makes you laugh so hard you cry.
Yo momma so black,
yo mamma so dark she absorbs all available wavelengths of light and forms an accretion disk of matter around her event horizon
|Adham Nu'man |
I think this lady might have actually managed to "eat the sun".
|The Mothership |
this is amazing. and hideous.
Her skin isn't so much overtanned as it is transforming into something akin to a chrysalis and what finally hatches from that will be more horrifying than anyone can imagine.
|Scrotum H. Vainglorious |
She's a walking cancer experiment.
The experiment being how far you can go before cancer becomes suspicious.
Upon seeing the preview image, I thought this was going to be from The Onion or some other parody/fake news report.
|The Townleybomb |
When I saw the preview image, I prayed to God that her voice would sound like that. I guess you could hope for a little more of a cigarette rumble, but I'm satisfied.
I imagine she smells like an unholy combination of Coppertone, boot leather, and the drippings from a 7-11 hotdog cooker.
"There's no room A." B I would never permit it. C it didn't happen.
I'm no expert on tanning beds, but I'm thinking if there's room for an adult New Jerseyan, you might be able to fit a six year old body in there.
THE INCIDENT HAS ALSO _DARKENED_ HER FAVORITE HOBBY.
oh crap did I just rate my own vid? crap o la
Rodents of Unusual Size
It's okay. It's not like you sling mud into people's faces or anything.
Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go eat some fish and chips...I'm the mood now for some reason.
Man she looks like shit, voluntarily, with her own money. Tanning places are run by folks with no soul.
Rodents of Unusual Size
"Oh, you look great!"
(gravel voice, near death) REALLY???
"Yeah, see you next week! Doesn't she look great!?"
|Caminante Nocturno |
I'll bet you could stab that woman with a dagger and it wouldn't puncture her skin at all.
|Robin Kestrel |
Now I'm hungry for bacon.
If we had smellavision with this clip, I'd expect burnt hot dog with a hint of sun tan lotion.
|That guy |
The title and load screen were enough for me.
I almost closed the tab in horror, then remembered what the 'e' stood for.
Well played chumbucket, well played.
Her skin can't be working right anymore.
|Louis Armstrong |
For the little girls horror. Child abuse is so endearing.
"So anyways, Leela, I'd love to take a whack at ya but that 10:15 to Nutley ain't goin' nowheres without yours truly behinds the wheel."
Someone impregnated that.
It's so fitting that "tanning" is also the term used in leather preparation.
Yet it appears she's well beyond the "prep" stage of the process.
Be sure to see the prequel from a few years ago:
I thought I saw the "Lindsay Lohan Special" on the menu at the local nightclub.
I like my women like I like my coffee.
|Billy the Poet |
Oh my god. That thing used to look like that little girl. Oh my god oh my god.
The Forbidden Zone was once a paradise. Your breed made a desert of it, ages ago.
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