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Desc:Dark in body and soul.
Category:Crime
Tags:crime, Evil, nightmare fuel, reptiles, tanning
Submitted:chumbucket
Date:05/02/12
Views:3035
Rating:
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Comment count is 60
NewHeavenSalesman - 2012-05-02
someone should tell this woman that nutella, despite the advertising, isn't actually healthy at all
lordyam - 2012-05-02
her skin reminds me of the hotdogs at gas stations, just rotating under that heat lamp.
American Standard - 2012-05-02
Blacker than the black men reporting on her story.

But seriously tanning a six-year-old readhead? Good god.
hammsangwich - 2012-05-02
"Oooh, oooh, we HAVE to send Derrick on this one."

kingarthur - 2012-05-02
You know they rang up the darkest reporter they had.

Cena_mark - 2012-05-02
Giving her a ginger daughter is god's idea of a joke.

cognitivedissonance - 2012-05-02
IT'S A GOLEM MADE OF SLIM JIMS! WE'RE DOOMED!
cognitivedissonance - 2012-05-02
OMG I just noticed the strategically placed 9/11 book.

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2012-05-02
Are you sure it's a golem? I could swear there's an illustration of her in the old "Tomb of Horrors" module.

pastorofmuppets - 2012-05-02
When I'm 60 my skin will still be smooth and elastic from a lifetime of avoiding sunshine and hard work.
cognitivedissonance - 2012-05-02
That's pretty much her formula.

TeenerTot - 2012-05-02
"I've been tanning my whole life..."

No shit.
dek863 - 2012-05-02
The new black face.
delicatessen - 2012-05-02
The Michael Jackson effect for white people.
crojo - 2012-05-02
I've met some R.A. Salvatore fans, but this is ridiculous.
misterbuns - 2012-05-02
ZZZzZZZZzzing!

Explodotron - 2012-05-03
I am Brutalitops... the magician.

Jet Bin Fever - 2012-05-02
It's always a good sign when the preview frame makes you laugh so hard you cry.
Cube - 2012-05-02
Yo momma so black,
duck&cover - 2012-05-02
she's one big melanoma.

jangbones - 2012-05-03
yo mamma so dark she absorbs all available wavelengths of light and forms an accretion disk of matter around her event horizon

Adham Nu'man - 2012-05-02
I think this lady might have actually managed to "eat the sun".
The Mothership - 2012-05-02
nice one.

The Mothership - 2012-05-02
this is amazing. and hideous.
BHWW - 2012-05-02
Her skin isn't so much overtanned as it is transforming into something akin to a chrysalis and what finally hatches from that will be more horrifying than anyone can imagine.
Chalkdust - 2012-05-03
cocoabutterfly

Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2012-05-02
She's a walking cancer experiment.
Caminante Nocturno - 2012-05-02
The experiment being how far you can go before cancer becomes suspicious.

dairyqueenlatifah - 2012-05-02
Upon seeing the preview image, I thought this was going to be from The Onion or some other parody/fake news report.

Ho-lee shit.
The Townleybomb - 2012-05-02
When I saw the preview image, I prayed to God that her voice would sound like that. I guess you could hope for a little more of a cigarette rumble, but I'm satisfied.
Rodents of Unusual Size - 2012-05-02
She'll certainly age exponentially now, since she made it her goal to look like a raisin.

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2012-05-02
I imagine she smells like an unholy combination of Coppertone, boot leather, and the drippings from a 7-11 hotdog cooker.
citrusmirakel - 2012-05-02
"There's no room A." B I would never permit it. C it didn't happen.

I'm no expert on tanning beds, but I'm thinking if there's room for an adult New Jerseyan, you might be able to fit a six year old body in there.
misterbuns - 2012-05-02
THE INCIDENT HAS ALSO _DARKENED_ HER FAVORITE HOBBY.
chumbucket - 2012-05-02
She's but the SHADOW of who she once was.

chumbucket - 2012-05-02
oh crap did I just rate my own vid? crap o la

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2012-05-02
It's okay. It's not like you sling mud into people's faces or anything.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go eat some fish and chips...I'm the mood now for some reason.

Oktay - 2012-05-03
Well done people.

Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2012-05-03
It looks like she's gone to hell and back.

themilkshark - 2012-05-02
Man she looks like shit, voluntarily, with her own money. Tanning places are run by folks with no soul.
Rodents of Unusual Size - 2012-05-02
"Oh, you look great!"

(gravel voice, near death) REALLY???

"Yeah, see you next week! Doesn't she look great!?"

Caminante Nocturno - 2012-05-02
I'll bet you could stab that woman with a dagger and it wouldn't puncture her skin at all.
Hammer Falls - 2012-05-03
Oh, it would puncture, but the melanoma it would unleash would take out all of the eastern seaboard.

Robin Kestrel - 2012-05-02
Now I'm hungry for bacon.
sosage - 2012-05-03
If we had smellavision with this clip, I'd expect burnt hot dog with a hint of sun tan lotion.
Rodents of Unusual Size - 2012-05-03
and old baseball glove

That guy - 2012-05-03
The title and load screen were enough for me.
I almost closed the tab in horror, then remembered what the 'e' stood for.
Well played chumbucket, well played.
Riskbreaker - 2012-05-03
Her skin can't be working right anymore.
Louis Armstrong - 2012-05-03
For the little girls horror. Child abuse is so endearing.
memedumpster - 2012-05-03
"So anyways, Leela, I'd love to take a whack at ya but that 10:15 to Nutley ain't goin' nowheres without yours truly behinds the wheel."
spikestoyiu - 2012-05-03
Someone impregnated that.
Louis Armstrong - 2012-05-03
It's a Jersey thing.

Comeuppance - 2012-05-03
It's so fitting that "tanning" is also the term used in leather preparation.
chumbucket - 2012-05-03
Yet it appears she's well beyond the "prep" stage of the process.

Lef - 2012-05-03
Magnificent!
Enjoy - 2012-05-03
Be sure to see the prequel from a few years ago:

http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=17230
Adham Nu'man - 2012-05-03
I thought I saw the "Lindsay Lohan Special" on the menu at the local nightclub.

Toenails - 2012-05-03
I like my women like I like my coffee.

Dark Roasted.
Billy the Poet - 2012-05-04
Oh my god. That thing used to look like that little girl. Oh my god oh my god.
crasgie - 2012-05-04
The Forbidden Zone was once a paradise. Your breed made a desert of it, ages ago.
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