Backwards Times

I've been to this, like almost 20 years ago fuck me

if you have have the opportunity to spend any time in Gatlinburg Tennessee, for Buddha's sake take it.

Its Redneck Disneyworld. It makes Branson Missouri look like Paris. For fun, count the pancake houses.

My mother almost took me to this once. Almost.

As someone who grew up painfully close to this and forced to go as a Cub Scout or church trips etc, and I can tell you...
Its one of the most unpleasant experiences around, even compared to a lot of the garbage in Pigeon Forge. The music is supremely bad. And as for the food, I just remember a bunch of awful redneck kids getting food everywhere and ripping a chicken apart with their greasy fingers.
Did Dolly's people think it was quaint not to have silverware? Did they have a deal with Medieval Times? Maybe someone told them utensils weren't invented until after the Civil War.

I can't stand this place, nor can I stand Pigeon Forge or Gatlinburg. Yet, I love to hike in the Smoky Mountains and do it every weekend I can. Thankfully, the tourists and rednecks mostly stay in the valley and never get out of their cars when they reach the park.

I lived in Myrtle Beach for a year and the Dixie Stampede there turned into Dolly Parton's Pirate Voyage. There were all of these billboards with DEFINITELY NOT Jack Sparrow on them.

Of COURSE the Confederate general's horse is white and the Yankee one's isn't...

This makes me SO glad I never stop whenever I drive through southern missouri. The billboards for the horrors in Branson are nightmare fuel enough.

This reminds me that I actually miss going to restaurants that serve drinks out of mason jars.

Heard some boos when the Confederate troops were introduced, so I guess some of the tourists have some understanding of historical dignity.

Should I ever visit the United States for any reason, I'll do my best to head to the southern places you are all mentioning. They sound astounding.

I believe I'd have more fun there than at Disneyworldland.