|The Mothership |
Tis no man; tis a relentless eating machine!
Breaking News: Fat American isn't able to stuff his fat face with shitty food as quickly as we wants; didn't pay his tab. More at 10:00.
Making "Real life Simpsons episode" a linked tag is my goal for the day.
That and cleaning the apartment.
The obvious step now is the restaurant hiring him as a circus freak.
WE WENT FISHING
I love the look of total disgust the beat reporter has for this guy.
She could pretend to orbit around him.
I also fucking love the waitress section of this report. They play it up like they did some extra investigation into the business and found out that he had a running tab, but then when she's talking to the reporter, she turns to the subject and starts yelling at him, who is also there because they just talked to the reporter as she arrived at work, AND THE REPORTER SHIFTS HER MICROPHONE BACK TO THE GUY.
You couldn't write satire better than that.
Jet Bin Fever
It's all part of his plan. You have to get up really close to read what it says.
There's always Two Guys From Kabul.
You're my hero, oswald.
Did Simpsons quizzo a few years back. My team was pretty sad: just me and one other person. So we went with Two Guys From Kabul. We came in third for the trivia portion itself, but won the set of Simpsons Halloween DVDs for our team name.
The lady reporter looks completely grossed out by the flabby hambeast. As most people should be.
|THA SUGAH RAIN |
I don't normally eat at ALL U CAN EAT establishments, but when I do, I eat every oyster on that table. If there are less than 30 oysters, things get hairy real fast.
Just move out of Thiensville, and into Fatsville.
Oh just let him eat. The coronary will take care of the rest.
Remember, when Americans start dying by the millions suddenly due to a changing world, save your outrage until you get the demographics, it could be worth it.
|Jet Bin Fever |
Not in MY America!
stars for the fish fascism! plus 'only in wisconsin'
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
I honestly thought this was going to be an Onion story. I was shocked it wasn't.
"No. It's all you can eat. There's no competitive element being implied..."
|Fur is Murder |
'I think people have to stand up for consumers'
You'd know all about consuming, wouldn't you buddy?
Fur is Murder
I'll wager he's gonna be doing his picketing from a folding chair.
First, they came for the men who took "All You Can Eat" too literally and who demanded the freedom to gorge endlessly at the expense of a poorly worded marketing gimmick, and I did not stand up, for I was not a man who took "All You Can Eat" too literally and who demanded the freedom to gorge endlessly at the expense of a poorly worded marketing gimmick.
the guy looks like he's about what, 6'10"? I'm surprised he didn't play the "If Shaq were here" angle.
this is a national tragedy
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