|Jet Bin Fever - 2012-05-31 |
It's never too early to ruin your child's childhood.
|Dread Pirate Roberts - 2012-05-31 |
God creates flawed beings, and then decides to persecute and exile them when they don't live up to his standards.
Hey god! If you wanted a perfect robot army, you should've made one you sick fuck!
This is why I will never be okay with religion being practiced. Spirituality is fine and dandy, but this kind of ass-backwards explanation for the universe needs to become taboo.
|Pompoulus - 2012-05-31 |
So would he have caught her in a legal loophole if he'd said the toy was not magical?
|NewHeavenSalesman - 2012-05-31 |
wow that is a shitty snack
also it's a good thing she protected her son from fun or he would've ended up like that kid from Warlock
|OxygenThief - 2012-05-31 |
Why does she say Satan like an elderly Puerto Rican lady?
|Kieran27 - 2012-05-31 |
If this is the talk about a "magical" toy, I can't wait for the talk about masturbation. Then again, it would probably be the same speech.
"Do you want to play with something Jehovah hates? Do you want to make him sad?"
|TeenerTot - 2012-05-31 |
So...what is "magic" exactly? If he had said something like "he moves things with telekinesis" would that be okay?
What about just "he does things no one can sufficiently explain with current scientific methods and technologies." Is that cool?
Maybe Harry Potter has some really interesting theories on quantum mechanics that have some incredible practical applications but he has yet to submit a paper to a peer-reviewed journal for fear of patent trolls.
|Baldr - 2012-05-31 |
Assuming this isn't a parody, the graphics are a lot more sophisticated than what I thought fundamentalists were capable of.
srs cat? There was no facial rigging and the compositing was done entirely with a glow node in Fusion.
Well at least they used stencil buffers.
|The Mothership - 2012-05-31 |
I call bullshit - no kid his age would ever give his friend a toy, he would punch his friend in the face to keep it himself, the greedy imp.
JW can't go to birthday parties. Pagan.
Pretty sure he borrowed the toy his mother just threw out. Even if he didn't, usually parents will veto that sort of thing. Some poor mother is going to come asking after her kid's new toy and boy do I feel sorry for her.
|subduralhematoma - 2012-05-31 |
Yes, Caleb. You're on the righteous path to becoming the weird religious kid nobody invites to birthday parties. Have fun riding bikes with your mom, dipshit.
For the record, Caleb, you're required to both believe that the wizards in the movie exist and be scared of them. You must keep these beliefs into adulthood, even if it does get confusing when you have to explain the difference between being retarded and religious to your children.
|Meerkat - 2012-05-31 |
The Bible contradicts the Bible.
|misterbuns - 2012-05-31 |
Thank you, Christianity, for showing me what it would be like to remember childhood emotional abuse through a rosy, soft focus lens.
|themilkshark - 2012-05-31 |
Pixar presents Indoctrination
|cognitivedissonance - 2012-05-31 |
Bear in mind that Jehovah's Witnesses are weird but potentially the least dangerous of all fundie cults, since (officially, at least) they oppose membership in political parties.
|Twitch - 2012-05-31 |
Haha dumb bitch put the toy in the recycling, that's not where wizards go!
Satan and his environmentalist allies invented recycling for this very purpose. Now the toy's raw magic will be harvested and used to turn people gay.
|dairyqueenlatifah - 2012-05-31 |
Oh look, it's gone.
Working link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jGJxSky1fo
It must be scary as hell to grow up with parents like this.
Directly under the video there is a link that says "Update dead link". It is everyone's job to make sure all the stupidity on POETV stays here, forever.
|Xenocide - 2012-05-31 |
The mom is so fucking creepy. She uses such calm, even tones to horrify her child into obedience.
|Billy the Poet - 2012-05-31 |
Sometimes I really do feel bad for the Jesus people. Most of their childhoods must have been horrific.
|Yellow Lantern - 2012-05-31 |
Surely these "bicycles" of which you speak are just another form of Satan-approved MAGIC
|Dread Pirate Roberts - 2012-05-31 |
You know, I'm compelled to return here and ask this question of everyone:
Couldn't the wizard just be using powers god gave him? Weren't Moses and Jesus basically wizards? They move oceans, raise the dead, transmutation of water, remove demons from people....
But it's okay because god is involved? Why can't Merlin be an English prophet that is helping his people with God's granted powers?
Or is that too much thinking for religious people?
I think it's more to do with the church (pick one, any one) not being able to even have its most "holy" members able to do a simple, verifiable miraculous act via their God's power and not needing to explain/justify even more made-up stories about people who can toss around lightning bolts and what have you.
|snothouse - 2012-05-31 |
I bet these people fucking love Narnia, though.
|Cena_mark - 2012-05-31 |
What's wrong with magic? Friendship is magic.
I hear that after you watch season 2 you get to join a coven and if you get through season 3 you gain actual Magickal powers that allow you to get into that water park your friend works at for free or to have a friend drive you home from the airport. I know this one guy that somehow summoned a whole group of people to help him move.
In order to become a full-fledged member of the cult of friendship, you must sacrifice a cake at a birthday party. If you share the cake with enough friends, you can summon Princess Celestia.
Friendship is how Caleb got ahold of that satanic toy in the first place.
THESE PONIES ARE OF THE DEVIL.
Stay out of the Cult of Friendship! It will sap your abilities to talk to other people without being immensely creepy and off-putting.
|memedumpster - 2012-05-31 |
About halfway to Iranian jihad cartoons.
"If you don't Jehovah to be sad, you have to take this bomb and blow up the Planned Satan Clinic."
|Caminante Nocturno - 2012-06-01 |
You manipulative cunt and your punchable face.
When they say sad, they really mean mad.
|big pincers - 2012-06-01 |
what a bitch of a mother. also, Jehovah doesn't really get sad in the bible. Jehovah gets angry and then he gets even.
And why the fuck call him Jehovah instead of God in the first place? Especially using a weird Minnesota accent on this one word. Thanks also to whoever pointed out her ghetto-Latino pronunciation of Satan
|Riskbreaker - 2012-06-01 |
You know lady, you seem to have too much respect for a guy that spends more time hating his followers than loving them.
|Gmork - 2012-06-01 |
THE SKY WIZARD TOLERATES NO PURPLE SIMULACRUMS
|Maggot Brain - 2012-06-01 |
What a passive-aggressive bitch. The sexy Latino father from the first part can do better.
|Screwtape - 2012-06-07 |
I always get a kick when EXTREME atheists dismiss belief in god as that "magic man" in the skies, but this is EXACTLY WHAT CHRISTIANS BELIEVE. They fucking BELIEVE in magic; that its real, has some effect, and that its evil.
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