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Desc:Homeward Bound: Extreme edition
Category:Classic Movies, Crime
Tags:Furries, Twilight, Breaking Dawn, biggest hobo
Submitted:Spastic Avenger
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Comment count is 40
Oscar Wildcat
No, don't do it Teen Wolf! Make love, not war!
I went to this in the theater with a girl I was seeing (since there were literally no good movies in the theater, we decided to see the worst one). This scene is just transcendentally bad in context. It made me so happy.
An yes, I instantly thought about pebbles and ghostdongs and sneaky birds.

Caminante Nocturno
The Internet ruined wolves for us.

Caminante Nocturno
These little meetings of yours would be a lot more peaceful and easier to understand if you were people during them. Just because you can turn into a wolf doesn't mean you have to be one all of the time.
Oh man, that lazy, lazy transformation effect.

Rick Baker wept.
watching this drunk was the worst decision possible

I can't believe this is real
Caminante Nocturno
I can barely imagine how angry I would've gotten if I'd seen this drunk.

Pope Caius
And one of those werewolves falls in love with a baby.
Okay, my reaction to that is "you've gotta be shitting me". This is the same reaction I had to hearing "vampires sparkle" and I turned out to be wrong, so....

Oh no, he's not shitting you. From what I understand the werewolf 'imprints' the baby which makes them soulmates for life. The baby will grow up and the werewolf will be her life protector and then when she gets old enough they fuck because it's her destiny. But apparently this baby grows up really fast so it's okay!

Caminante Nocturno
That sounds like something out of a fanservice-filled harem anime.

Rodents of Unusual Size
These are the most retarded movies ever made. They make Torgo look like King Lear.
Rodents of Unusual Size
double stars go to the Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney Canine Witness banner ad. Because I don't know what that is but it looks just as retarded as Twilight.

I have no idea what is up with that banner ad. Clicking it just goes to a regular Ace Attorney page on Amazon (there's no such thing as "Canine Witness"). I think somebody's trying to exploit some loophole in referral rewards.

I paid to see this movie....

....I paid to see this movie...



Me too b^________^b

So....did Kristen Stewart ever do it with one of the dogs?

Jet Bin Fever
She wants a cold undead penis to impregnate her with an undead baby but she's still really into that pig-nosed dog guy... I think.

I've never watched any of these movies because I knew they were bad, but this actually shocked me at how bad it is. These are the modern Bert I. Gordon films.
I've watched the first one and nothing can really prepare you for it. The people trying to portray these movies as just simple "kids entertainment" or something like that are being incredibly kind to the films and extremely ugly towards teenagers in general if they think this is the kind of entertainment they should be getting.

The first movie is a meditation on awfulness. You could probably do a whole college course on the massive, continuous filmmaking mistakes the film makes alone, much less the rest of them. And on top of that, it is LOOOONG. It's a little over 2 hours and the pacing is mind-bogglingly slow. What blows me away is that Breaking Dawn (and part 2) are being directed by Bill Condon who's actually a fairly well respected writer/director. A lot of people are theorizing that the movies are purposefully trying to victimize the fans by being so awful that they are unaware of it (being so immersed in the culture) and that it's a wink to those of us outside the culture, but I don't buy that shit.

Well a lot of modern movies in general seem to be on the level of Bert I. Gordon films, millions of dollars blown on making films that are not nearly as coherent or well-made as filmed-in-a-week quickie drive-in theater fodder from the 50s and 60s.

You people need to start giving Bert I. Gordon his due respect.

Hey, are you guys talking about Bert I. Gordon?

Caminante Nocturno
Bert I. Gordon.

Corpus Delectable
The notorious B.I.G.?

Dread Pirate Roberts
Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend.

more than that, it's about how important it is to be controlled by your boyfriend both emotionally and physically

WRONG! The moral of the Twilight movies is that vampires love to play baseball.

I bought "Breaking Dawn Part 1" for my girlfriend as kind of a gag present to go along with a bunch of other stuff. We watched it... the first 45 minutes are literally nothing but a long, drawn out wedding and a long, drawn out reception. And then after a long, drawn out honeymoon, the last 1/4 of the movie is crazy hilarious shit like this ("IT'S A PERSON! DON'T CALL IT A FETUS!")

While the movie was going on, I turned to my girlfriend: "I could complain about this, but they gave Twilight fans exactly what they paid to see: a wedding, a honeymoon and a baby.
Jet Bin Fever
That CGI looks horrible. Homeward Bound is way more compelling looking than that jumbled mess of filters and polygons.
I am so embarrassed for everyone involved.
Thank you for saving this from the hopper, I tried submitting it using my awesome front-page privilege (bitches!) but it went there instead. Yes! Bless'd Luna!
Make sure when you submit videos you use the actual URL of the video, and not the "youtu.be" links that YT generates now. POETV just treats those as "unknown sources" and throws them in the hopper.

Blessed Luna, that looks like total shite. I only saw the rifftrax version of the first film and that was painfully dreadful. Glad to see they've found a way to get worse.
There must be a bike rally nearby.
"Okay, kick the bike, just like we did in practice."
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