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Desc:This time, he's got elves, and they're ladies! And I think they're drunk!
Category:Classic TV Clips, Horror
Tags:santa, Public Access, elves, blitzin(get it?)
Submitted:John Holmes Motherfucker
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Comment count is 11
Starts slow...then snowballs.
I want to hang out with these elves so bad.
John Holmes Motherfucker
Give your two hundred dollars directly to Santa.

John Holmes Motherfucker
Hooray! I'd given up on this one. I knew I'd be submitting this when Santa talked about "putting a red nose" on the front of his truck, a grisly image that evoked "Silent Night, Deadly Night".
Koda Maja
That's not hot cocoa in that mug.
Jet Bin Fever
Those were the most mournful "ho ho ho"s I've ever heard.
At 3:55, the snow says, "Fuck it," and goes home. One of Santa's naughty elves drops an F-bomb at the end as well, I believe.
She does! She totally says "Fuck Grand Rapids" around 9:53. This would make me so sad as a child.

Those cheap pitch-shifting filters (heard at the beginning and end of the video) make voices sound a lot scarier than they need to be.
John Holmes Motherfucker
Kids! Talk to Santa's elves! Just 2.99 a minute!
I just skipped to like 3:39 because it was getting boring and holy crap it got awesome. "If you have weird last name that's like 4 or more syllables, just make up a fake one, because we don't want to deal with that." Then they get to the one elf implying she's a prostitute called "Miss Sugar" and how she's from the south and lives in a FEMA trailer... holy crap. This is amazing.
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