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Desc:Thats the videos title! ... Thanks something awful!
Tags:flips, virgin, literally
Submitted:Mr. Purple Cat Esq.
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Comment count is 40
@~>~~ Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. ~~
fancy pants poetry shit is not going to get you fine ladies, damnit thesnake.


Adham Nu'man
You go Tiger!
No. No that's not...no. No! That's not how that works! no.
Dames love a dude who can do front flips on a trampoline. That's really all they're looking for.

I hope he can meet a boyfriend-free girl to make into a Sweetheart from the
One time I did six in a row.
Six chicks? Nice.

I was like, BONE... BONE... BONE...

Scrotum H. Vainglorious
Oh lord, his other videos :( Poor guy.
I can't do any, but I'm a 32 year old virgin.

I'm so gonna beat this guy.
*Catholic definition of virginity. Don't really know why I go by that.

What's the difference? No penetration?

Oral sex and anal sex don't count. Lesbians are virgins forever. I don't know, I guess I stretch the definition and make bullshit exceptions because I really wish there was a different meaning for that fucking word. It's got a disgusting history and it's modern usage isn't much nicer. It's wrapped up in this idea that sex is adversarial and if you penetrate someone, you've won some sort of game and your partner has lost that game, FOREVER.

I've never had a sexual relationship. My number of people and my number of times are the same fucking number. My leather relationships have been with people I wasn't having sex with. I am not a person that has had any experience with maintaining a sexual relationship. I wish there was a word for that.

Look at this guy. If you were thinking about sleeping with him but had concerns about his inexperience, would any of those concerns go away if he'd paid a prostitute for sex?

Many people like the adversarial part and find nothing wrong with it. I didn't enjoy it until after I got divorced. Draw your own conclusions. The girl I'm with now loves when I'm rough and dominant, and I have to say it's been the best sex of my life (at age 35).

Also, yeah this dude should go to Vegas with a ton of cash.

Hookers bro, hookers
Poor dude.

John Holmes Motherfucker
Oh, THIS is something awesome!
Jet Bin Fever
Somebody fuck him already geez.
Sudan no1
I think he'd be a good match for Babe (of squirt pillow fame).
HA! This is exactly who I thought of too! Make that happen.

Koda Maja
Nothing gets the ladies wet like front flips.
Sorry buddy, but when the girl sets up the trampoline at the foot of the bed before intercourse she's going to expect at least ten with maybe a twisting backsault thrown in for good measure.
John Holmes Motherfucker
Please contribute to my kickstarter campaign to fly this guy to Nevada, get him the greatest hooker ever, and make a documentary about it.
For the first few words I wasn't 100% sure he was speaking English...
I had a roommate who thought he needed a six pack to get laid, and pretty much based his life around that. It didn't work out.
Koda Maja
Was the six pack just for the girl, or does he split it, 3 beers each? Because that might be his problem.

I've been trying to convince myself that I need to lose like 25 pounds to get laid but it doesn't work because I get laid anyway. There goes my plan to lose some weight.

Dudes with 6pack abs do get laid. Dudes without 6pack abs do get laid. Why so confuse?

big pincers
quite a set of chompers there. also, this pairs really well with Smile by Pinkie Pie.
OK I just friend requested this dude on Facebook and he fucking accepted it! :)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ps we are obviously total strangers)
Haha, amazing. Anything particularly bizarre you've seen? Does he talk about his quest to lose his virginity there?

Not really man, he's a Navy reservist that is actually excited about being recently activated...*sigh* Honestly, it's a sad Facebook page and it makes me sad.
Ah, that was meant to be a reply, oh well.

So, Mr. Donnelly Miller's Facebook page has only 84 friends right now, sadly most of them are trolls. Female Facebook pages with no pictures asking him to post moar pics ok lol? This guy is already pretty close to killing himself, he did a 7 minute vid justifying suicide using little to no logic at all, I don't really like how this Facebook page is looking, it's looking like I'm gonna be front row to a fucking trainwreck.

So what do I do now? Watch and say nothing? Troll him also? Actually try to help the guy? Delete + block him and forget about it? O.o

What a miserable guy. I wish he could be his hilarious self without being suicidal :/ It's our Prime Directive to not troll these people, or even interact really. However, I don't think anyone would fault you if you tried to help Mr. Donnelly Miller. Nor would anyone fault you for delete+blocking him, since if he isn't actively asking for help, there is close to zero a person could do for him.

Three more flips and technically he would have lost his virginity to himself.
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