SteamPoweredKleenex
It fits with Christian theology: "Worship me or burn forever."

MacGyver Style Bomb
That's basically the story of St. Christopher.

John Holmes Motherfucker
If you believe in God, and you're a conservative, you have to believe in the Devil. Conservatives believe intuitively that progress is bad and things naturally get worse. There's no way to explain that with just God out there benevolently running everything. Without the Devil, there would be nothing to fear, and without fear, what's the point?

If Pat thinks we need to pray before watching the story, why didn't he provide a moment of silence?

Syd Midnight
It's a good thing when Christian kids get the kind of lectures where they're taught that Satan is real and he'll give you actual powers, but it's a suckers game and you'll wish you hadn't done it when you die.

Because teenagers would never do something that's immediately gratifying but that they'll probably regret many years later, especially when all their strict authority figures keep telling them not to do it. No sir, that's not exactly the kind of thing every teenager will be curious about and try (or encourage a friend to try) at some point.

For every "I was a teenage satanist!" there's probably 50 others who were standing in the woods in a bathrobe or crowded around a ouija board when they realized that this is all just a bullshit mind game.

Xenocide
I'd definitely worship a deity named Lord Chortle.

Rudy
Chortle? I thought that was a fart.

Riskbreaker
Do a kickstarter first to raise money to do the proper research. If you are going to rip-off people, better do it twice, and hard!

Syd Midnight
7 Minutes in Heaven is a fun party game but I don't think I'd want to play "28 Minutes in Hell" so case closed I guess