lordyam
i never asked for robocop: prime directives.

SteamPoweredKleenex
The one thing I liked about the Robocop TV series was called (I think) "Ram Set." It showed someone on the writing staff was actually thinking and trying on some level to make what happened make sense.

Robocop basically had these metal spikes in his legs that would drive into the pavement or whatever he was standing on (with some cheap CGI cracks appearing around his feet) allowing him to stay put while a car crashed into him or he pulled something that weighed more than he did.

Not that it excused a lot of the other stuff that was in there (most of which was an attempt to tone down the violence and dystopian nightmare fuel) , but it was kind of neat.

Also, the "Commander Cash" segments were funny.

SolRo
As a kid, I liked prime directives.

And no matter how bad you thought it was, it will still be hundreds of times better than this.

SolRo
in defense of ED, it did kill a middle-management douchebag.

animegurl1000
Not to lend the remake any credence, this is supposed to be an OCP (or OC, as it's apparently going to be called now) propaganda video. Of course it would depict the 209 as a competently-designed piece of machinery.

WHO WANTS DESSERT
The fact that they're showing a military anti-tank weapon being tested in the fucking salt flats and suggesting it's appropriate for urban pacification gives me a glimmer of hope that the satire will still be there.

SteamPoweredKleenex
Except given events and trends since the original, what was once satire is now pretty much reality.

Much in the same manner as the Bush Administration required political send-ups to be about ten times more ludicrous to be distinguishable from what was actually happening, corporations (or "people," as they like to be called) have pretty much used the behavior of OCP in the first film as a model.

TimidAres
Wow, they took an icon from my childhood and managed to make it forgettable. Congratulations Hollywood, youve done more for the memory of Robocop than 20+ years of time ever did.
What you see here could only be the beginning.
They may be portraying him as functional so by the end of the film, Murphy will be fighting a handful of them.
So, itll be like the encounter in the first film, but not at all dramatic, creative, climactic, practical, or imaginative.

95% of modern films are garbage. Jesus, its not even out yet and my balls are already twisted into a pretzel over this.

SteamPoweredKleenex
Five stars for TimidAres' "childhood."

Did you walk into a room with two or more female "children," display a pretend grenade and cap gun while saying, "Bitches, leave!"

TimidAres
I wish I could be half the badass that Clarence Boddiker is, but sadly, it was not to be.
I was a classic late 80's kid, Transformers, TMNT, Thundercats, Indiana Jones, Star Wars.
Robocop was one of those special treasures that I could only watch with my cousins when my parents werent around. Much like Tales From the Crypt, Beavis and Butthead, or Evil Dead 2, we never spoke of it outside of the small tv room at my uncle's house.

WHO WANTS DESSERT
"95% of modern films are garbage."

You say this as if this hasn't been the case for every era of film ever.

lordyam
orlsen wells was in transformers poop

Merzbau
Thanks to inflation, you will now buy that for $2.02.

SolRo
well, i wouldn't defend robocop 3 if they tried to remake it.

Hooker
I would say, if they ever remade Casablanca, that would be the final threshold after which nothing was sacred any longer.

RoboCop, at its most superficial level, is an action movie about robots. Of course it was going to be remade.

Nyms Lives!
I would SO watch the Casablanca remake just for the scene in the club where Rick leaps over the tables firing a SMG and kills every Nazi in the room, except for the genetically engineered super-Nazi whose feet he lands at. Then when the super-Nazi grabs Rick by the lapels and and holds him off the ground to look him in the face and say "Game over, Herr Blaine!", Rick delivers the famous "Here's where you should be looking down, kid!" and the super-Nazi looks down and sees all 20 grenades on his bandolier have the pins pulled. As he throws Rick away (to dodge behind a overturned table) the super-Nazi struggles to pull off the bandolier but realizes it's too late with just enough time to raise his fists and yell "Neeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnn!" as he blows up.

candyheadrobot
my sentiments exactly.

they have a decent director (though Darren Aronofsky would have been great), they seem to have a decent cast, and I love Robocop. however, what I love about Robocop, besides the excessive 80's violence, is the fact that the first film is actually well thought out and relevant to modern times. like SteamPowered said though, considering that Robocop's world has pretty much become reality, I have a hard time grasping that this can really convey those same ideas well, considering what Robocop actually represents (talking about the first film again, because this is a reboot of it).

on the other hand, I might finally be able to say that Robocop can kick Terminator's ass like I couldn't when I was a kid. horrible condolence to excuse the lack of quality I expect from popular entertainment, but whatever.

also, forgive any pretentiousness on my behalf; Robocop is my favorite movie, so it's hard not to make up high-minded excuses as to why I like it so much.

WHO WANTS DESSERT
I don't know why people keep throwing around the iPod comparisons just because everything's shiny. The ED-209 is the exact opposite of iPod chic, it has tons of extraneous crap all over it.

SolRo
ED had what looked like an anti-aircraft gun and rocket launcher in the original.

Pretty sure it was designed to be a military vehicle and it was stated that detroit was going to be a proving run to sell it to the military.

SteamPoweredKleenex
Dunno if they were AA guns, but the "arms" had pretty hefty guns, probably meant to be something similar to .50 cal. Somehow the rocket launcher fit in there, too.

And yeah, Dick Jones said it was going to be used in Detroit, that they had contracts to the military for years worth of spare parts and maintenance, so "who cared if it worked."

Caminante Nocturno
Of all of the movies that had to accurately predict the future, why did it only have to be the non-robot parts of Robocop?

memedumpster
We'll have great scenes of Robocop saving rich people from Occupy Detroit and instead of ED-209 accidentally killing a rich person, it will give a bank a trillion dollars and then go murder black people.

It's a feel good movie for the 1%.

Jet Bin Fever
Happens all the time, just not for a major studio.

Adham Nu'man
Sosage, my thoughts exactly.

The whole point here is that despite the fact I have no problems with the "desecration" of my childhood films, and even though the theme of corporate weapons production associated with greed is now more relevant than ever, they could have come up with some new idea for a film. But no, let's not play that risky card, let's just slap a Robocop label on the thing, so even if it's shit all those old farts that belong to the first generation of commercial product gimmick cinema will pay AGAIN to watch this new product, regardless of its quality. Way to criticize corporate greed, you corporate fucks.

Caminante Nocturno
I predict that this movie is going to be PG-13.

SteamPoweredKleenex
Hugh Laurie as the head of OCP and Sam Jackson as some kind of media personality. I demand they have a riff-off with loads of swears.

Caminante Nocturno
Thanks for the snarky insight, Dennis Miller.

SteamPoweredKleenex
Robocop 3 had so much going against it, you'd almost think the movie was cursed.

Only two of the original film's actors were in it, I think, and one of them gets killed. Not having Peter Weller was a huge drawback, and the whole "Japan is coming to wipe out our American companies" was already played out years before the movie opened.

lordyam
fart in your face, im too drunk

StanleyPain
It makes more sense when you realize it was written by Frank Miller.

lordyam
would you like to make out

lordyam
so when do we start agrueing about the new judge dredd

lordyam
!!!!!!3D!!!!!!!

Adham Nu'man
I think we already did. Use the search feature.