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Desc:NOBODY'S LISTENING!!!!
Category:Religious, Cartoons & Animation
Tags:666, RFID, ACA, paulbegleyprophecy
Submitted:The Mothership
Date:07/19/12
Views:2311
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Comment count is 13
SteamPoweredKleenex
If it gets me free unlimited WiFi, bring it the fuck on.

Some AR functions would be nice, too.
chumbucket
No it only gets you crappy AM talk radio kooks.

SteamPoweredKleenex
Ah, then it IS Satanic.

IrishWhiskey
No one voting on Obamacare has the slightest clue what it is. A recent poll showed that most Republicans think it shrank the number of people eligible for healthcare. Even while the Republican criticism of it involves patients being forced onto doctors and insurers. Cognitive dissonance is no problem.

I cracked up at 3:00 when he is reading the bill's text, clearly has no clue what it means, so tries to pretend it says his religious conspiracy nonsense with no real transition or explanation.

"The Secretary must build a registry of class 2 implantable and life-sustaining medical devices used on patients for post-market safety"...

...so... uh, what they mean is that your financial records are 'life-sustaining' information, so they'll be putting that in a chip in your hand. Because "Register life-saving implants after use" means "Put their bank records, address and GPS tracking on a chip". Obviously.
John Holmes Motherfucker
This has already been thoroughly debunked. Check snopes.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/medical/microchip.asp

The only part of the law this guy directly quotes is about a registery for implantable devices, meaning a central database for saffety and recall information. Implanted medical devices include pacemakers, Defibrillators, breast implants, artificial hips, IUDs. If you listen carefully to the language, you'll notice that he doesn't actually quote anything in the law that mandates the insertion of any devices. He just says that it's in there. It's not in there.



Article: The eleven most common implantable devices.

http://tinyurl.com/3jyur63
SteamPoweredKleenex
My favorite fictional religious fundie "medical device" were the artificial wombs that either Michelle Bachmann or Christine O'Donnell (or someone like them) was claiming were being used to grow clones.

My first thought was, "Someone's invented an artificial womb? WHERE CAN I INVEST MY MONEY?!" The revenue from wealthy women that want kids but no stretch marks or caesarian scars alone would make the company wealthier than Apple.

cognitivedissonance
Not many are aware of the differences between the Rapture opinions among fundamentalists, but I grew up in a premillenialist sect, and the opinion there is that the Antichrist will exist BEFORE the Rapture, and you're free to take the Mark and still go to Heaven, but AFTER the Rapture is when you're damned to eternity. Obviously this is a rancourous detail that is almost as offensive as the Arian Heresy.
SteamPoweredKleenex
I don't suppose they all realize the Rapture was made up by a Scottish "theologian" about 200 years ago and is mentioned NOWHERE in the Bible, right?

memedumpster
"Christians should be tagged and a database created for sane people to watch them for sudden terrorist behavior."
-Mitt Romney 2009

"The Mark of the Beast sounds like a good idea to me, especially if it helps with the growing Christian terrorist problem in America."
-Dick Cheney 2007

"America is not at war with Islam, it's the Christians that got all uppity. Tag 'em, Rumsfeld!"
- GW Bush 2002

"I read the Bible once, I have no recollection of implanting microchips in non-Christians. Really, why would you?"
- Condoleeza Rice testifying before Congress 2004

"Jesus nuts are rising up to kill everyone's babies and Obama is too inexperienced to stop them."
- John McCain 2008

"In Alaska, we feed Christians to bears, since lions don't like the cold."
-Sarah Palin 2008

"When Christians persecute you in my name, fuck 'em up their ass with a fig tree."
-Jesus Christ, King of the Jews -8

"Don't tell Christians the tracking chips can also be detonated on command. It'll be a hilarious surprise."
-Bill Gates 1987
dairyqueenlatifah
Until that second to last quote, I thought they were real.

Caminante Nocturno
This microchip sounds incredibly convenient, and I would fully support the common use of one had it not been made up by a goofy lunatic.

The three seashells, on the other hand, are clearly the Mark of the Beast.
Riskbreaker
ARE U FOR SERIOUSSSSS?!!!
Rudy
WHAAAAAT?!!!

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