SteamPoweredKleenex 
If people like the Koch Brothers paid me to perpetuate a delusional ideology, I'd probably be able to afford a lot of happiness, too.
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Toenails
Healthy people don't call themselves Vodka Pundit.
Just sayin'.
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Old_Zircon Healthiness and happiness aren't necessarily correlated, though.
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SteamPoweredKleenex
Seeing that the right equates being conservative with being religious...
"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one."
- George Bernard Shaw
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sosage
Every conservative I run into seems to enjoy trolling everyone around them into discussing their right wing propaganda. So...I mean...trolling people does sound like fun.
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dead_cat Being allowed-- no, encouraged -- to be the best and biggest dick you can be could be a LOT of fun for the right sort of person.
Whatever would these guys be doing if it weren't for those old, strongly-patriarchal desert religions and today's US conservative ideology?
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dek863
I'm still not convinced this isnt the Onion.
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dead_cat Sometime in 2001, during an attempt at an upgrade, the Onion servers suffered a bizarre meltdown, followed by an even-more-bizarre explosion that had the somehow even more bizarre effect of altering the nature of reality. Since then, we have been being steadily enveloped by The Onion Universe.
It is with us, around us, in us. It IS us.
And now, time for more photos of face-eating chimpanzees dressed as congressmen!
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The Mothership
"scientific revelation"
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dead_cat
Yeah, well, a goldfish is happier in captivity than a chimpanzee. We should all try to be goldfish.
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John Holmes Motherfucker
This just in: People who believe in fairies happier than people who don't.
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CIWB
It's like they've never even heard of "ignorance is bliss".
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Chocolate Jesus
Pretty soon these will be the guys keeping our bread lines in order.
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Oscar Wildcat
"OF COURSE I'M HAPPY! WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I'M TOTALLY HAPPY. NOW GET THE HELL OFF MY LAWN!!!!"
Pollster checks (Happy) box on form, moves on to next house.
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themilkshark
Awkward, weighted pause after the closeted gay man tells his canned joke.
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John Holmes Motherfucker
I'm glad they're happy, but it sure doesn't stop them from complaining after 30 years of things pretty much going their way.
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BHWW
According to our totally unbiased study [partisan group x] is [better/faster/shinier/happier/smarter] than [partisan group y].
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Old_Zircon
I buy the premise behind this. It's much easier to be happy when you're completely deluded.
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