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Desc:A curious dystopian future where everyone is afraid of loud noises.
Tags:infomercial, annoying, backpack
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Comment count is 15
IrishWhiskey - 2012-07-31
Day 1: Student brings in iSafe backpack

Day 2: After relentless bullying of the student for wearing a rape-alarm backpack, other parents see the need.

Day 3: School District issues notice to parents that all such backpacks are banned, because children are pulling each other's alarm cords for fun and as a way of disrupting classes, like they were obviously going to, you stupid cunts. Get them a keychain alarm, or remind them they can just scream for help. Now they've all got cell phones, they're literally carrying GPS trackers with one-touch access to 911, and that's still not enough? Either buy them an electrified bubble to live in, or stop watching Lifetime movies and Fox News. Either way, problem solved.
Jet Bin Fever - 2012-07-31
Oh yeah, this is a great way to disrupt class. I'm all for giving young children concealable noise making devices for school!

Twitch - 2012-07-31
What about the deaf rapists/bullies?
big pincers - 2012-08-03
iSafe is in the design phase of a model for the deaf that, upon triggering the cord, emits a strong odor of wasabi, along with a shower of Rip Taylor confetti.

StanleyPain - 2012-07-31
Adham Nu'man - 2012-07-31
What if you pull the alarm and that just attracts MORE rapists?
Jet Bin Fever - 2012-07-31
Hey! There must be a vulnerable child over there! *High five*

Adham Nu'man - 2012-07-31
Also, does the success of the iphone mean that every product on the market must brand itself with the letter i before some shitty generic description?
Caminante Nocturno - 2012-07-31
Bullies and kidnappers are easily frightened by loud noises and bright lights. If that doesn't work, try to make yourself look bigger than you actually are. Remember, they're more scared of you than you are of them.
The Mothership - 2012-07-31
that little girl should have just flared her 'eye spots'.

STABFACE - 2012-07-31
What's with the bullshit half-measures? In this unpredictable and dangerous world, our children need a bag with flashing lights and alarms that is also made of Kevlar and resistant to small caliber firearms and knife attacks!
Rudy - 2012-07-31
When the fuck did Robin Givens write a book?
Old_Zircon - 2012-07-31
Just give them tasers, at least it might work.
Caminante Nocturno - 2012-07-31
Give everyone tasers.

And whips.

But not guns.

mon666ster - 2012-08-01
All it's missing are the turn signals.
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