Don't suffer the terrible fate of those two people at 1:15! Always run, hide or fight any time someone you don't know approaches you; they might be about to pull out a weapon and go on a rampage!
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I wonder how well this advice will work when it's Department of Homeland Security agents rather than a random shooter. These days that seems like an increasingly likely scenario.
Compassion in the lone star state:
"Encourage others to come with you, but don't let them slow you down with indecision"
Oddly enough, Houston is Forbes "coolest city" and America's fattest for years running.
Be sure to tell your rival for that management spot that the candy machine in the lobby is broken and you can get candy from it for free!
That was probably my favorite part. That or at 2:18 when it looked like he was going to steal that dude's bike.
Also dragging a hipster around by the ipod earbuds. That's just a good idea anytime.
See, that guy was totally justified in ditching his wife and kids.
|Oscar Wildcat |
If at all possible, use your latino secretary as a human shield. They absorb bullets like a sponge.
Leave^ not come also stars!
|Caminante Nocturno |
Active shooter event? Who made that stupid name up?
This entire video is unnecessary. Why even make it?
In the event of a mass shooting, do exactly what your instincts tell you. How much money did this cost? Are we paying for this shit?
Although I guess they do deserve some credit for giving out advice that won't cause you to asphyxiate your family.
To answer your question, the money to make this video came from a Homeland Security grant so yes, you are paying for it.
Homeland Security has pretty much always been about sending porky cash to favored districts. Remember back in 2005ish when it turned out that Indiana had the most terrorist targets out of any state in the union?
I like the improvised weapons part. I don't think any of those things are going to stop a shotgun, though.
I love it how they don't actually tell you what will and won't stop a bullet. If I kick over the break room table will it shield me? Why does that even work in movies?
It really depends on the caliber of the gun and the type of ammunition the paranoid schizophrenic is constitutionally bearing.
Well what if your co-worker ISN'T Charley from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? What then?
|The Mothership |
Just went to submit this myself, dupe checker caught it. This is so unintentionally hilarious.
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