|Jet Bin Fever |
Yes, they infect humans too. It's another reason not to live in Africa.
...for brevity's sake, let's just list reasons TO live in Africa.
- You could move into an area with a power vacuum and become a warlord!
- Burning witches
- Eating albino meat for some sweet magic powers
- getting to finally kill you some gays.
- blood diamonds!
- Egypt might be fun someday
- Never too late to catch ebola.
So in a few years, that'll be the southern U.S. except you swap out Mexico and the Mayan ruins for Egypt, right?
I figure the blood diamonds will come from the armed robberies at the many pawn shops available in the area.
Jet Bin Fever
What's all this Mate Rate crap people have been talking about?
|Corpus Delectable |
Ahh, yes, Africa. So nice of you to come. Have a seat. Comfortable? Good. Look, lions and hyena's and crocodiles were dangerous, yes, but they had their own charms. We can admire an enemy that is powerful, but that we can do something about. Venomous snakes? I felt, I must confess, that those were perhaps a little over the edge, though others in our organization felt otherwise. I just don't think any *one* snake should have enough venom to kill 30 people with one bite. 2 or 3, tops, but this is, I admit, a personal thing. Things got more serious, however, with these insect-related infestations and diseases: malaria, sleeping sickness, dengue fever, bot-flies, and now Cordylobia anthropophaga. We've undeniably crossed a line, here, especially given that you've used the latin for "human-eating" right there in the name.
In short, we've determined that, regrettably, the sum total of all potential future good, in even the best case scenario, will never outweigh the concerns we have for our own safety. I'm afraid that, as the old cliche goes, we're going to have to nuke you from orbit, it being the only way to be sure. I realize this is a bit of a shock, but I assure you that it will be as painless an humane as we can make it. The grieving room is right this way. That's it. Off you go. We'll be in touch. Soon.
Hi Nancy. Thank Australia for his patience and send him in.
The really "funny" thing is if Africa managed to sort of pull a Cortez and create a population that had developed natural immunity to some of the more colorful plagues available down there, then spread it to the rest of the world.
As Randy Newman sang:
"From where you and I are standing
At the end of a century
Europes have sprung up everyone as even I can see
But there on the horizon as a possibility
Some bug from out of Africa might come for you and me
Destroying everything in its path
From sea to shining sea
Like the great nations of Europe
In the sixteenth century."
One of them just shot right out.
I cringe at just about everything in this video.
And I thought that one time I saw a guy squeezing green pus out of a lump on top of his cat's head was terrible - and that stuff kind of smelled and the cat had been trying to lick it as it ran down the bridge of it's nose before the owner noticed what was going on...but nope, this is pretty much worse because at least the pus wasn't, you know, MAGGOTS.
Herro, I'm Francis, and welcome to Cooking With Dog.
|Old People |
Thankfully, these little fuckers are relatively harmless and very easily treated if you have vaseline, tweezers, and alcohol.
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