|cognitivedissonance - 2012-08-11 |
I decided to become a nutritionist after reading the works of Colonel Harland Sanders.
I decided to become a flight attendant after reading about D.B. Cooper.
I decided to become President after reading about Ronald Reagan.
|Hooker - 2012-08-11 |
I love this. "President of the United States" holds no emotional value for Romney, so his brain can make mistakes like this because it's not spending much time on it. How many of you would accidentally introduce a man/woman you work with as your husband/wife? It's very hard to make that mistake when it's a matter of significant importance to you.
"Join me in welcoming the next President of the United States, Paul Ryan! I mean... oh, wait. Oops! I would be President in this scenario, of course!"
Except that in Ryan's mind, Romney has no chance of winning, and he's just positioning himself for 2016. What kind of Objectivist would he be if he expected anything to come of a situation where he wasn't personally in charge?
|samstein - 2012-08-11 |
Occasional mistakes happen when you don't rely on a teleprompter.
DID YOU HEAR THAT OBAMA IS DUMB LOLOLOLOLOL
What about every rally and speech that Obama has done without a teleprompter (i.e. most of them) ?
Every politician uses teleprompters, especially Republicans:
The shameful stuff is when a politician is caught, say, writing her answers on her hand.
Every President has used teleprompters since the don of the teleprompter and before that, they used cue cards. Yes, Bush Jr, Bush Sr, and even the holy messiah Reagan used them. Why do so many Obama haters think he's the first president to ever use a teleprompter? Are conservatives really that stupid?
I remember right after the Tea Party bullshit took off, a new conservative wank channel called "The Right Network" was announced, and they were showing clips from their stand-up comedy show, and like five of the "jokes" in it were all about Obama using a teleprompter.
Seeing someone still using that shit this far down the road is pathetic.
"Are conservatives really that stupid?"
Short answer: yes.
Long answer: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Abe Lincoln read the Gettysburg Address FROM MEMORY. NO, actually he came up with the whole speech ON THE SPOT and didn't make a single mistake or pause!!
|deadpan - 2012-08-11 |
*draws ritual knife, kneels, disembowels self*
|StanleyPain - 2012-08-11 |
Only Romney could be "humanized" by being paired with an automaton like Ryan.
Rodents of Unusual Size
These aren't your grandpa's old white dudes runnin' for office!
They're your great great grandpa's.
|John Holmes Motherfucker - 2012-08-11 |
The warmth of Dick Cheney, the intellect of Dan Quayle, balls like Sarah Palin.
|Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2012-08-11 |
Paul "Granny Starver" Ryan.
|gmol - 2012-08-11 |
Uh, Obama did almost the exact same thing in '08 (he corrected himself just after he said it).
Your point? People gave him shit for it. They gave him shit for saying they'd been to "57 states" when he meant cities. They also gave him shit for everything else down to his name, birthplace, and the people who went to the church he attended.
Now people are giving Romney shit for it, but I can guarantee you, no one's going to demand Romney's birth certificate to prove he's an American or accuse him of not belonging to the faith he claims.
The point is that it is worth noting.
|dead_cat - 2012-08-12 |
...and across the land, an unidentified screaming noise was heard. It had no apparent point of origin, but hung in the air like the keening of several trillion cicadas. Walls, windows, insulation, earplugs, nothing kept it out; prescriptions for knockout pills skyrocketed overnight, dogs went mad, people went madder.
It was speculated, by some of the most unfortunate as they writhed --and screamed themselves-- in their new padded digs, that the sound originated from within our own minds.
|Rodents of Unusual Size - 2012-08-12 |
This shit is beyond parody.
So far we have:
Not knowing what office your own running mate is running for.
Thousands of American jobs converted to cash to stuff Mr. Romney's mattress.
Countless contemptuous, arrogant brushes with the public and journalists, where he only seems to have about a 50% chance of restraining himself from directly and intentionally insulting them.
Romney may not have Sarah Palin's SNL power, but for my money he's the most godawful Republican presidential candidate in decades.
Okay, let's have a little bit of context. I hate the rich as well, but this guy had a pretty liberal record as governor and probably doesn't give two shits about going to war with another country. H.W. Bush he is not.
Oh and don't forget he loves cars, all kinds of cars. His dad had cars you know. Yeah, love them cars.
|FABIO - 2012-08-12 |
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