These kids are going to have horrible social lives by the time they get to junior high.

Did they spray these kids with CS gas before they filmed this? Eerily reminiscent of this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roFB7bGCAgc


which, by the way needs to be resubmitted

You'd think if Tim was deciduous he'd have produced some seeds after dropping his leaves. WTF Hollywood?

They thought it was too cloyingly sentimental.

The next generation is for sure this time going to be the one that's so much worse than all the ones previous to it.

Now that their defenses are down, show them Watership Down and Grave of the Fireflies.

Then tear out their eyes.

Circle of life, bitches.

When I was seven, I cried like this after my parents took me to the drive-in and we saw "The Crater Lake Monster".

THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO KILL THAT PLESIOSAUR! YEAH, SURE, HE KILLED SOME PEOPLE, BUT IT WAS JUST FOR FOOD! HE WAS HUNGRY! THEY COULD HAVE CAUGHT HIM ALIVE AND PUT HIM IN A ZOO OR SOMETHING!

These kids are not going to be this sad when their parents die, if their parents were the ones who shot and uploaded this humiliating video.

I didn't do this for Project X (1987). No sir!

Splatter films don'treally expose kids to the heartbreaking truth:
Mortality is a motherfucker.

I remember seeing King Kong as a five year old. Kong appears from the wilderness, Fay Wray screams, close up of Kong's big teeth. And I can remember thinking: He's going to eat her, and she won't be there anymore. And I ran screaming from the room.

I'm literally old enough to be grandfather to these kids, and earlier today i carried on just like this, because my cat of twenty years is about to die. Crying doesn't come as easily to me, so my sobs were gut-wrenching and horrible. Luckily, no one was standing by with a video camera.

Those adults, teasing, ask the boys "Do you want him to live forever?"

Jesus, Mom, do you even have to ask? OF COURSE I want him to live forever! What kind of a stupid question is that?

I can't remember crying to any on screen deaths as a kid. Bambi's mom, Old Yeller, Artax the horse...did nothing to me.

I think the first movie I cried to was Edward Scissorhands when I was 15 and I in my goth phase and thought it was SO DEEP HE DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING TO YOU!

I was a total pussy as a kid, and I remember crying at the Nazis melting at the end of Raiders (I was like 4 at the time). My mom tried to comfort me by saying "It's okay, they were Nazis, and they deserved to die!"

Now, I am one of those horrible people who think kids crying is hilarious.

When I was about 8 or so, my father rented a movie called 'The Mosquito Coast'.

I shed a few quiet tears when the father in the film was shot and lay dying on the boat. As MY father dying some day was something that had never occured to me.

14 years later I watched it again, I had a very different reaction. He got shot and I responded "Yeah, FUCK that guy!!

It's certainly a profound moment when a child grasps the concept ot mortality and the permanance of death. Sometimes it strikes us like lightning and the only way our brains can cope is with tears or hysterics.

I remember either watching the land before time or going to my grandma's funeral & having it tweak this idea of mortality in my young brain. That night I lay in bed thinking of every single person I ever met in my five or six years or whatever it was, and imagining them all dying. That was probably the saddest I've ever been in my life. It seems funny or cute to observe this from the outside, like watching the clip, but when you're a kid you don't filter this kind of horror at all.

WOW. No, your kids totally aren't going to hate your guts for posting this online.

Harden the fuck up

When I was these kids' age, nothing in a film could make me cry. In fact, I remember laughing when Bambi's mom got shot at age 4.

Somehow, with age I became a pussy though, and now I can't even watch little Simba beg for dead Mufasa to wake up without my eyes getting watery.