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Desc:This really seriously almost happened.
Category:Classic Movies, Crime
Tags:movies, tmnt, Michael Bay
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Comment count is 15
Schrader... Shredder... oooooooooooooooooooooh.
Almost happened or is still happening? IMDB lists it as being in pre-production with a release date of May 16, 2014.
Last I heard it was delayed "indefinitely" for script rewrites and budget issues. Presumably because the above script is retarded and would cost retarded amounts of money.

It was originally supposed to come out in 2013, and was pushed back to May 2014. Of course since they gave a date that's not really indefinite, but that's what all the articles on it said.

Yeah, production got pushed back because this script was too shitty for even Paramount.

Dread Pirate Roberts
Terminate him, immediately.
If you're gonna make a movie with this outlandish a script, just stick to the original fucking story. Don't half-pretend this shit is all going down in the real world. This Transformers-esque bullshit is tiring.
What's so annoying about this synopsis is that it's using every major story detail of the last 5 years of blockbuster movies. So not only is this script basically sending the message to franchise fans to stay away, but the unfamiliar young audience will just get the same movie they watch occasionally at home on blu ray.
It really is just Transformers with The Beef replaced by a teenage Casey Jones and the giant robots replaced with humanoid turtles who are now aliens because somehow that's less crazy than mutants.

I'd like to see this script produced in a "Be Kind Rewind" kind of way.
This has been confirmed to be true, by the way. Kevin Eastman has gone public that he was contacted to be involved in the movie as some sort of adviser (i.e. we can use your name in the marketing as the creator, but you get paid about 1/100th what you should be) and they gave him a copy of the overall treatment.
ridiculous source material deserves a ridiculous treatment. what does the internet expect, a character-driven cerebral thriller directed by David Cronenberg? hollywood does not owe it to you to repackage the dumb shit you liked as a kid as something less embarrassing.
Yeah, that's true, I suppose. I guess it's more that the live-action TMNT movie was really quite good. Made you expect a lot more from the franchise.

The fact that they're giant mutant turles aside, it's kind of a cool concept. Brooklyn-raised sassy pizza-loving ninjas and their stoic spiritual master, living secluded under ground, fighting a secret war against a far east ninja cult. That's a pretty fun concept, if done remotely right.

Hollywood doesn't owe us anything, but I'm just going to go ahead and take the controversial opinion that it would be nice if it wasn't constantly burning through hundreds of millions of dollars to continue spitting out piles of incomprehensible trash.

Jet Bin Fever
Dear god. That's bad even by Michael bay standards. Not that I was planning on seeing it, but how do you fuck up such a simple story?
You fuck it up by pretending that you have a sense of dignity, and that being someone who turns childrens' cartoons into live-action movies should be a dignified career-path.

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