|Caminante Nocturno |
Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard, he has a failed, outdated ideology that champions short-sighted greed and willful ignorance.
"If we look to history, our great country and freedom are under attack."
So, only by looking to the past can we be made aware of the dystopia that awaits us.
Also, Jesus they are twitchy. What's making them shuffle around like that?
|Sanest Man Alive |
My stars for the "ape mouth" tag. To hell with this shitheel and the internet that meme'd him.
Billy the Poet
It's funny that a man with his beliefs is a continual example of our evolutionary relation to apes.
How could they have chosen Clint Eastwood over this?
Man, last time they waited for the last three weeks to dredge the moonbattery out, this is a good sign.
Fuck this shit.
Chuck, why do you keep trying to make thousands upon thousands of internet children cry by reminding them that you were always just an asshole who got hired to play a scripted role?
Why can't you just let them love you for being a semi-mythical bear-killing rocketship of a manzilla?
I doubt most of the people who, still, keep shouting the idiotic meme have ever even seen a movie with him on it. I know most of my friends still obsessed with this meme just know "he fought Bruce Lee once" and that's about it.
That always struck me as the weirdest thing about the whole Chuck Norris meme: at the height of it's popularity, Chuckie was probably most famous for Walker, Texas fuckin' Ranger, one of the shittiest things ever broadcast.
I disagree, his political and religious proselytizing is the only thing that keeps him in my heart and mind. Come on man, he's an Evangelical, who's more entertaining to watch than them?
Without his nutter beliefs this man has:
~A series of movies where he's not quite Rambo.
~A movie where he's upstaged by a dog.
~A television series based off a movie where he gets buried alive in his truck and has to drunk drive his way out.
...Aaaand, what else? That's it? Maybe you could include the Expendables 2 where he has to constantly remind the audience that he is, in fact, the Lone Wolf (McQuade).
Seagal's penchant for robes and eastern flibbity floo is far more interesting.
|John Holmes Motherfucker |
There's no brain in Chuck's skull, only another fist.
And that fist is made of anuses.
Young Chuck Norris:
I refuse to believe this isn't literally true.
A country's greatness is measured by the extent to which it doesn't help poor people get healthcare.
Saw Expendables 2 the other day. My pal and I took all the old action heroes' entrances and lame-ass self-references with a giggle and eyeroll until this guy showed up. My pal cackled loudly and shouted "OH NO! NOOO!"
The rest of the audience agreed.
Am I the only one wondering where my promised 1,000 years of darkness is. It's not a political statement. I want my 1,000 years of darkness! Someone raise Gozer or something, everyday I wake up NOT bathing in the blood of evangelicals & devouring thier abortions, & I'm sick of it!
These fuckstains sure do love Reagan.
Sanest Man Alive
Our Great President Ronald Reagan once said: "PLATITUDES PLATITUDES PLATITUDES AMERICA GREAT PLATITUDES"
He was an addle-brained retired actor who still had enough charm and geniality to distract the people from most, if not all the atrocities his administration carried out against them. What wouldn't a bunch of money-laundering plutocratic bigots love about a guy like that?
He also consulted heavily with astrologists. How do evangelicals feel about that?
He hosted infomercials and accused other actors of being commies. But he played a cowboy sometimes, so he was super awesomely qualified for the presidency.
if you could work an n-bomb and and the word "muslim" into the description you would have pretty much the most accurate summary of the 2012 republican platform i've ever heard
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