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Desc:This film just set the record for worst wide-release opening weekend of all time.
Category:Trailers, Horror
Tags:puppets, why, christopher lloyd we hardly knew ye, why the terrorists pity us
Submitted:Xenocide
Date:09/03/12
Views:1823
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Comment count is 38
SteamPoweredKleenex
'Tis a dupe. It may have enough evil to warrant a second go-round, but 'tis a dupe nonetheless:

http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=109846
StanleyPain
Did this really do worse than CG animated abortion Delgo that someone on POEN worked on? I believe the official figures for that release was something like ,000 opening weekend for a budget of 3-4 million.

SteamPoweredKleenex
It did, according to Entertainment Weekly:

http://insidemovies.ew.com/2012/09/02/oogieloves-big-balloon-a dventure-worst-box-office-debut-flop/

The money shot:

"Oogieloves steals the opening weekend “record” from Delgo, the misguided 2008 animation, which earned only 1,920 in its opening weekend from (cue scary Phantom of the Opera chord progression) 2,160 theaters — the same number as Oogieloves. There’s gotta be some sort of curse around that theater count."

This either means those involved will never work in Hollywood again, or they'll become the next Michael Bay. It's hard to tell which failures lead to career success and which become actual setbacks these days.

StanleyPain
Wow I was way off, thought I am certain I once read of a film that made ,000.

spikestoyiu
StanleyPain, there was a movie that opened in maybe one or two theaters, I believe. I think it probably made around ,000 This is going back a couple of years. That may be the one you're thinking of. I'd love to find the name of this movie, but just about every search I can think of gets me results regarding TDKR shooting or this thing.

SteamPoweredKleenex
Are you thinking of Zyzzyx Road?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zyzzyx_Road

spikestoyiu
I was. Thanks.

Old_Zircon
Wow, looks like the 00 figure was really high, that's what they paid to rent the theater it played in. They actually only grossed .

Old_Zircon
And it's being released on DVD in the US on 9/11.

dead_cat
Worst opening weekend of all time? Maybe there's some hope for this species yet.

I seriously pity any kids whose parents took them to this instead of anything else ever.
IrishWhiskey
I can't think of a single reason why any of those guest actors would register in the slightest to kids. Most of them haven't been popular since when I was a kid.

I'm guessing like the mention of "Acadamy Award Winning Director Matthew Diamond!" (which IMDB says is bullshit, he was only co-nominated), it's meant to draw in parents. Put after hearing that this movie tells young kids to sing and dance in crowded theater seats, there's no way they're going in without earplugs and medication.
IrishWhiskey
Also did I hear that right? "From the marketing visionary of Teletubies, Thomas the Tank Engine," etc. Not creator, director or writer, but marketer? Seriously?

Either they actually think it's more important to describe someone involved in making the shows as a 'marketer' than a writer, director, creator etc, or they seriously just claimed that you should see this, because it's being advertised by the same company that sells actually good shows.

SteamPoweredKleenex
Just wait until you see the movie the guy in charge of the set catering came up with!

Seriously, though, another example of this kind of thing is the movie Skyline. It's what happens when two FX guys think they know how to make a good alien invasion film that TOTALLY doesn't rip off some ship designs from Half Life 2 and which you TOTALLY can't tell is nothing but a CGI fest with all the action taking place at their condo over a weekend.

memedumpster
Terrible audio mixing.

memedumpster
Sorry, not meant as reply, I never saw Skyline or think terrible audio mixing is a reason to be in a movie.

FABIO
I actually liked Skyline better than Battle for Los Angeles.

Cena_mark
Successful children's movies are only successful because the parents can enjoy or tolerate them too.
SteamPoweredKleenex
Your theory flies in the face of the apparent success of the Chipmunks movies. Of course, I could be overestimating the intelligence and/or ability to say "no" to whiny kids, but still...

Seven Arts/H8 Red
The Chipmunks movies were based on an existing property. Ross Bagdasarian Jr. exerts varying degrees of quality control on his property.

All the Oogieloves "creators" have are money, delusion, and alleged "marketing savvy."

Change
This is what sixty million dollars looks like.
SteamPoweredKleenex
Correction: This is what million looks like. million went to marketing this cow-flop.

The Townleybomb
The M is what it took to make us momentarily more aware of this than Dora the Explorer.

spikestoyiu
It sounds like six dollars.

Jeriko-1
Someone was forced to wipe their ass with a gympie gympie over this thing.
Rodents of Unusual Size
I feel genuinely bad for Cary Elwes. This is just beyond fucking embarrassing. I mean, Toni Braxton was never all that talented but fuck man, Christopher Lloyd? Are his kids denying him his meds? Did someone loot his bank account? Did he just run out of money? Fuuuuuuck.
cognitivedissonance
7 PER SCREEN. You could've held history's weirdest orgy in there, and absolutely nobody would've known.
fedex
they did.

you're right.

Rodents of Unusual Size
I am betting that it was all just people making fun of it to see how bad it was.

Or parents who were completely tired beyond the point of caring.

American Standard
Forget parents, I'm not even convinced CHILDREN would like this.

Looks like the work of someone who thinks making children's entertainment is easy, you just throw together some rhyming couplets and douse everything with saturated primary colors.
Bort
It's something like the mistake they make with Christian entertainment: Christian entertainment isn't even designed to be entertaining, its real intention is to reinforce tribe solidarity. I don't think the people who make or consume Christian entertainment are even consciously aware of it, but that's the heart of it.

The Ookiemouths or whatever are not trying to ape actual entertainment, but something on the level of Psalty. Problem is, they don't slap Jesus on it anywhere (as far as I can see anyway), so they can't even bring in a tribal audience.

(And yes, I realize how dumb it sounds talking about tribal this and tribal that. I'm in the market for better vocabulary that is equally on target.)

SteamPoweredKleenex
I think it was a case of the marketing guy looking at previous successes and only seeing what he understood: Music, colors, cutesy characters, perhaps even the dumb jokes. This was then misinterpreted as being what made those previous IPs successful, not (perhaps) character, presentation, or for lack of a better term, "the world" created for those shows.

It's like a guy who markets candy bars for a living deciding that a solid block of sugar in a brown wrapper with blue letters on will out-sell Snickers.

This movie also forgets the same thing Bort's Christians do. I think it was John Cleese who said something like "entertain first, then the audience will gladly accept your message."

StanleyPain
The reviews for this are all basically saying roughly the same thing: that as stupid as it is, it's probably fine as entertainment for toddlers, but releasing it into theaters when toddlers would need an adult to take them there and then offer nothing at all for adults is just stupid.

SteamPoweredKleenex
They should have included a cash bar for the grown-ups. It would probably have added layers of depth to the movie.

Old_Zircon
"Sizemore and long-time friend Peter Walton, who worked as Sizemore's assistant, were arrested during the film's production for repeatedly failing drug tests while on probation. Police discovered that Walton had a warrant out for his arrest for child pornography distribution and was subsequently jailed. Sizemore was not jailed, making it possible for him to film his scenes."

Holy shit.

Old_Zircon
Oops, that was supposed to be above in the thread about Zyzzyx Road.

SteamPoweredKleenex
A buddy of mine was an extra in a movie with Sizemore (my friend played a cop that was supposed to be escorting a handcuffed Sizemore through a police station). Sizemore tries to break free, and apparently he doesn't care about play-acting when he's fighting, as my friend came away with a few bruises.

But he looked at Sizemore's arrest record and felt any revenge on the loser was unneeded.

dairyqueenlatifah
There are entire countries of starving people and kids dying because they can't afford live-saving procedures.

And then there's this.
Stopheles
FROM THE VISIONARY MARKETER OF A BUNCH OF MID-90s TOYS.
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