|The Mothership |
That's Cary Elwes.
That saved Princess Buttercup in the fireswamp.
Chew on that for a bit.
5 stars, now go away and remind me of this no longer.
In the immortal words of Daffy Duck
"eh, it's a living..."
Actually the budget was allegedly more than $60 million dollars. It has surpassed Delgo in being the worst performing wide release of all time,
$20 mil to make the movie, $40 mil to market it. The chief creative force behind this thing was the guy who brought teletubbies and tomas the tank engine to america. Not the guy who wrote or produced those things; the guy who oversaw marketing them to an american audience.
SPK has a valid point. We can't discount the possibility that Cary Elwes really fucking hates his kids/grandkids.
This movie is ninety minutes long.
Judicious cut after 48 excruciating seconds.
And yet, there is still more essential dignity here than in the Fudderwacken.
No. No no.
This would be far less disturbing if we knew they cut it off at :48 because it suddenly turns out that this is the dungeon he keeps for when stupid kids wander in.
|Jet Bin Fever |
But then again, this is a movie for babies. But then again, why would you pay full price to take your baby to a movie?
Does not help that the guy reminds me of the head of the overflow camp in Miracle Day.
This would be fine if it was, oh, something about 60 million dollars cheaper and airing on Playhouse Disney at 10AM.
I'm not sure what made this MARKETING VISIONARY think making this into a high budget wide theatrical release was a good idea. It's amazing to me, actually. Ever since that first trailer was posted here a few months ago I've been following it, just to see how tragic its box office fate would be.
I've been reading up on this movie and apparently what happened is this: the guy who was responsible for bringing Teletubbies over from Britain, marketing it and making it successful wanted desperately for the people who make Teletubbies to make a theatrical movie. They didn't want to, so he decided to basically make his own Teletubbes movie by taking the idea he had and just changing the characters. He apparently thought that encouraging kids to dance around and act weird during the film would be this huge revolutionary thing that would forever change children's entertainment and lead to Hollywood offering him the chance to produce his own TV series based on the Oogieloves.
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