Caminante Nocturno 
Antlers are the one thing deer have to look forward to, and even then only the males. Don't take that away from them, narrator.
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Rodents of Unusual Size
Good advice for those fancy deer.
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dek863
It is indeed a horrifying planet.
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Bort
The Onion isn't bullshitting here; even the etymology of the word "deer" is on board with this:
"Middle English der, Old English dēor beast; akin to Gothic dius beast, Old High German tior"
The deer is the generic animal.
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poorwill
Deer are giant rats with hooves.
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