Free trial of women, if you don't like them after 30 days send them back.

"Hi, my name is anesthesia. This won't hurt a bit..."

Go to AnastasiaDate.com and look at the "happy couple" pictures at the bottom of the front page. They undoubtedly picked not only the most attractive women, but also the absolutely geekiest, scariest-looking dudes. Every picture looks like he's holding a gun in the small of her back.

You masturbate now, yes?

As someone who doesn't think a relationship separated by 30 miles could ever work, this seems utterly ridiculous.

All the fun of dating without the intimacy and communication!

Sigh, I thought the internet had left behind the "online dating" bullshit in the shameful memories log, along with KaZaA and Yahoo Messenger.

I've been staying up to 2 or 3 at night doing remodeling work, and this commercial plays on loop on every channel. It's unsettling.

Anybody remember Leo Frankowski? His site was linked on POE Red back in the day. He was this fat and middle-aged bad sci-fi writer who hooked up with a Russian chick from the Internet. He learned Russian, moved over there, and seemed to be doing pretty well for himself. He was even building a castle from scratch.

Well, it turns out he never got his castle completed, he ended up getting a divorce in 2008, moving back to America, and died of a heart attack on Christmas of that year.

The English section of his website doesn't work too well anymore.