Oh wow!

Yeah, it's weird. This is my understanding of the whole thing:

"Lucifer" fairly literally means "light bringer", and refers to the planet Venus, the "morning star" which could be seen in the early hours of the morning just before sunrise, and so was thought to bring the sun. This made it a good analogy for Jesus, if you liken the sun to God and/or salvation.

But long before Jesus was even an itch in God's almighty crotch, Lucifer was the spiteful nickname given to a powerful and arrogant Babylonian king (possibly Nubuchadnezzar - if anyone needs a nickname it's that guy) who boasted that he was or would become so great that he would ascend to the heavens and sit as high, or higher, than God.

"Lucifer", in this case, is an insult, in the context that the morning star only looks pretty in the sky until the sun rises, at which point it is so out shined that it can't even be seen anymore. God is eternal and awesome, and you're just some really rich asshole who's still gonna die and go to hell so neener neener. Pretty sick burn for ~600 BC.

At some point this story was cut and pasted to be about an angel, not a mere man, and so the Devil's backstory was born. Awkwardly, they kept the whole "Lucifier" thing, and so we have the name being positively attributed to Jesus on one hand, and insultingly aimed at Satan on another.

They could secretly worship Venus. I mean, after all... boobies.

It's the exact sort of too-obvious pseudonymity that only the True Christian in a Chick tract would see through. I wonder if his chief administrator is named B. L. Zebub.

Hush you. All leftist change will play out exactly like it did in Russia in the '30s.

I find comparisons to Cuba even more humorous. They never seem to notice the rampant oppression, graft, and corruption that capitalism was visiting on the island, preferring to think that the ensuing revolution somehow came out of nowhere or was based on jealousy or somesuch.

i wish we could expand the science behind the whole 'gay is a choice' thing to other fields. like why can't water molecules make a conscious lifestyle choice to become gasoline molecules?