isn't this some sort of narrative device used in french new wave cinema? or is that giving the show too much credit?
Rodents of Unusual Size
Yes, but in those films, the character doesn't mess around with people and alter reality like a member of the goddamn Q Continuum on vacation.
"Saved By the Bell" was a shitty, shitty, shitty, shitty, shitty, shitty, shitty, shitty, shitty, shitty, shitty, shitty, SHITTY show. That's all you need to know.
So the principal was just going to help a student punch another student in the face? Institutionalized bullying.
I think he had the TV remote control from Funny Games
|Jet Bin Fever |
My bet is that there is fanfiction that explains this.
I'm going to give a shout out to the excellent essay "Being Zack Morris" by Chuck Klosterman. Its a really good read, and I commend it to you all :)
Also, what if Zack Morris weren't actually imbued with any powers at all, but instead, he's living within his own delusions? And like the last episode ends with the camera pulling away from an extreme close-up of his face to reveal a disheveled, drooling, older Zack Morris leaning against the padded wall of his cell within an institution FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE?!?!
DUN DUN DUUUH
I watched a lot of The Bell in college, and as I recall, Zack in her earlier years would sometimes just break the 3rd wall and talk to us about what kind of wacky situation he had gotten himself into this time, but then later in high school as he went through puberty he seemed to discovery his godlike powers of controlling space and time. He apparently preferred not to use it that often, and would not typically take advantage of it like in this scene. I believe by the college years he had lost this power.
|Scrotum H. Vainglorious |
Is Zach wearing mom jeans?
Mom jeans were pretty big with douches in the late 80s/early 90s.
Allfather Odin spoke, and his words shook the very stars, for such was his anger.
"LOKI, YOUR MISCHIEVOUS DEEDS HAVE GONE TOO FAR," he said, as his wicked son cowered in fear. "FOR YOUR TRANSGRESSIONS, THOU SHALT BE CAST OUT OF ETERNAL ASGARD, DOWN TO THE MORTAL WORLD BELOW, WHERE THOU SHALT EAT NAUGHT BUT PIZZAS, AND DRINKETH NAUGHT BUT CRYSTAL PEPSI."
"But, father, surely-"
"SILENCE!" cried the Allfather, and his wrath was such that it reverberated throughout the cosmos, and damaged the very surface of the moon (and this is why the moon has craters even today.) "THOU SHALT RETAIN A PORTION OF THINE POWERS IN THINE EXILE, BUT MAY USE THEM FOR THE MOST PETTY AND ASININE PURPOSES IMAGINABLE! AND VERILY, THOU SHALT NEVER LAY WITH LISA TURTLE, THOU SHE IS CLEARLY THE HOTTEST SAVED BY THE BELL GIRL."
And Loki cried in anguish as he was transformed into a smarmy 25 year old (who people inexplicably thought was a teenager) and hurtled down, down unto the unforgiving hell that was Bayside High School.
"AND AS FOR YOU, THOR," shouted the Allfather, "FOR YOUR ARROGANCE, THOU SHALT BE PLAYED BY CHRIS HEMSWORTH IN A MAJOR SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER. AND IT SHALL BE BORING AS HELL!"
there has been a lot of speculation in the comments as to why Zack can freeze time. Zack is God, Zack is Q, Zack is Loki, etc. while these are amusing conceits, i'm afraid the most likely explanation is that Zack is the long lost brother of Evie Garland from Out of This World. I know it's not as funny as some off the wall nerd reference, but something about him being the son of an alien Burt Reynolds just fits.
The answer is abuse. He was abused on a fairly regular basis. The show takes place in his thoughts at the end of the day, after many tears, before he drifts off into sleep.
Not quite abuse, but pretty close:
http://bit.ly/LcVetV for people that don't want to find the spaces.
Cracked's theory makes the show a lot more watchable.
He's hallucinating all this while being pounded by very sexy fists.
My theory is that the writers couldn't figure out how to write conclusions to most of the scenes and situations....so they didn't.
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