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Desc:It's a long way from West Africa. Where coffee is indigenous.
Category:Advertisements
Tags:Coffee, Folgers, caucasian spree
Submitted:cognitivedissonance
Date:11/23/12
Views:3861
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Comment count is 51
The Mothership - 2012-11-23
the best submitter name / submission synchronicity ever? maybe not, but close.
garcet71283 - 2012-11-23
I detect some sexual tension between those siblings...
Nikon - 2012-11-23
This commercial is full of wincest.

baleen - 2012-11-23
This commercial would GREATLY benefit by a tiny amount of edits and lots of overdubbed fart noises.

cognitivedissonance - 2012-11-23
There is so damn much going on in this commercial it's hard to take it all in. Gleeful acceptance of American ignorance of geography, douchebag dreamboat Peace Corps dude and mousey sexualized "kid sister", intensely complex family drama worthy of a Scandinavian stage play from the 19th century compressed into 45 seconds, the not terribly subtle nostalgia for a time when Anglo-Saxons didn't know anything about coffee quality, advertising correlation between gift giving/marriage/family values/coffee, simultaneously inhuman and maudlin premise deliberately pinging several predetermined focus group bullet headings, vaguely implied incest, etc. etc. etc.
cognitivedissonance - 2012-11-23
OH and the CGI winter breath.

cognitivedissonance - 2012-11-23
Slurred speech making "from far away" and "for our wedding" impossible to discern.

Cena_mark - 2012-11-23
Its the Goerge Lucas way of story telling. The snow and the winter clothes aren't enough to show that it was cold. The breath was needed to bring the cold home. In fact had Lucas himself written the commercial the guy would have said "Its really cold outside."

Hooker - 2012-11-23
Vaguely implied my ass. All the husky whispering had me trying to figure out if they were a married couple or not, and the "you're my present" put me squarely on the side of being romantically involved.

What a truly fucked up ad.

cognitivedissonance - 2012-11-23
If this commercial were made in the 1920s, it would be longer than "Greed". 18 hours of dedicated Erich Von Stroheim intensity, banned in every country except Morocco.

cognitivedissonance - 2012-11-23
Also, it's there for a fraction of a second, but Dad has a particularly lurid look on his face. This is a family affair.

urbanelf - 2012-11-23
Hey, and I bet the brosky is porkin' that sweet lil' thang, am I right, cognitivedissonance? Am I right or am I right?

cognitivedissonance - 2012-11-24
u r

William Topaz McGonagall - 2012-11-23
http://archiveofourown.org/works/search?utf8=%E2%9C%93&work_search [query]=folgers+home+for+the+holidays
William Topaz McGonagall - 2012-11-23
Well this link seems to be broken, sorry.

But search http://archiveofourown.org/ for "folgers home for the holidays" and bask in the fact that 3 people wrote about these siblings fucking, including one person who wrote almost 10,000 words about it.

cognitivedissonance - 2012-11-23
oh god

cognitivedissonance - 2012-11-23
http://archiveofourown.org/works/43437

cognitivedissonance - 2012-11-23
http://archiveofourown.org/works/302678?view_adult=true

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2012-11-23
This is all way above and beyond what I expected from this particular video. 5 stars of oh my shit

Xenagama Warrior Princess - 2012-11-23
This is the best part of waking up.

No, seriously. I just woke up and found out that someone posted slashfics about this commercial. Sometimes I love the predictability of the internet.

EvilHomer - 2012-11-23
The internet still works!

chumbucket - 2012-11-24
I'm impressed. Wait, that's probably not the right word for it.

themilkshark - 2012-11-24
THIS is the internet I know and love.

That guy - 2012-11-25
That two-move look she gives his face and body at 0:30 is enough to make most fish species vomit from incest-aversion.

Gill_Sans - 2012-11-23
Okay, so the mom wakes up because she smells something, it's coffee right? But, that pot was full when he got there. The sister states that she waited up all night for him, so that pot has probably been on the brew for hours. I can't even say that the act of that dude pouring a pot of coffee releases the aroma from a theoretical smell dampening super urn, because whatever the act of mom smelling takes place before he pours a cup of coffee. Mom obviously has some kind of Wolverine like enhanced sense of smell, and is awakened by the burst of pheromones that hotboxes that room once those two meet up. Those two of course referring to the brother and his coffee.
stifford - 2012-11-23
that commercial, where the dude was wacking it to some webcam girl, and he goes down for breakfast and realizes it was his sister on the webcam...that commercial was less creepy and had less sexual tension.

Like...if she didn't just say "sister" (for no apparent reason) in the beginning of the commercial, I would expect him to be balls deep in her before the mom made it down the stairs.

the end of the commercial should be a cut to a West African Starbucks, where the barista looks in the camera and says "Fuck you White Man, go home and fuck your sister."
Mancakes - 2012-11-23
Five for "Fuck you White Man, go home and fuck your sister."

EvilHomer - 2012-11-23
That one was a morality play with an incestous twist; it was played for laughs and cringe value. This one's a tender romantic scene meant to unironically portray the love two siblings have for each other. And Folger's coffee.

If Webcam Incest was the Pink Flamingos of sister-fucking advertisement chic, this is the Brokeback Mountain.

kingarthur - 2012-11-24
Sometimes I love everyone here.

Billy the Poet - 2012-11-25
That muttered "sister" actually contextualizes it. This is an elaborate surprise sexual-taboo roleplay that this gentleman's young-looking ladyfriend has sprung on him. He's not necessarily feeling it until he sees that she has convinced an older swinging couple to play "mom" and "dad."

Bort - 2015-11-24
I'm pretty sure what she said was "incest, or ... ?" Inviting her brother in for a cup of coffee has the same meaning as when non-relatives date, except the brother here knows for sure he's gonna score.

Adham Nu'man - 2012-11-23
Didn't mean to be the one defending the logic behind this shitty ad, but... The fact that you are in a place that grows spectacular coffee doesn't necessarily mean you can get/buy good coffee for brewing.
The toasting of the bean is an extremely important step. I live in Costa Rica and most coffee brands available at the supermarket are not that good (although things have improved in the last few years). Our beans are exported to other countries where they are toasted and made into high quality coffee.

Oh yeah and the sister fucking is creepy as hell.
Bort - 2012-11-23
THE ARISTOCRATS!

If she had put the bow on top of the brother's head, then it would have been a little easier to interpret as a goofy Platonic gesture. But she put the bow right on his shirt, which sets him up for an unwrapping.
Toenails - 2012-11-23
Makes you wonder what he actually got her.

Fertility dolls or something maybe.

Bort - 2012-11-23
Box of condoms.

urbanelf - 2012-11-23
The AIDS.

EvilHomer - 2012-11-23
Having just come from West Africa, my money's on the AIDS.

That guy - 2014-11-23
The bow is absolutely what pushes it over.

StanleyPain - 2012-11-23
The best part of waking up, is incest in your cup.
RockBolt - 2012-11-23
Folgers, continuing the tradition of fine commercials since the 50's
Old_Zircon - 2012-11-23
Wow.
Binro the Heretic - 2012-11-23
I keep forgetting, what was that formula for brain bleach?
Blue - 2012-11-23
Why does she call him sister?
citrusmirakel - 2012-11-23
That's what everyone in these comments is missing: They call each other "sister" and "brother" as a bit of roleplay that turns them on. They are a monogamous couple that have a whole lot of sex with each other, but they like to pretend they're siblings, especially in situations where things seem not terribly sexual, like at her place during Christmas.

And yes, that is a little bit pervy, but much less pervy than the other interpretation.

Nikon - 2012-11-24
Or they're a monogamous couple that have lots of sex with each other, but they pretend to be siblings because they are siblings.

dairyqueenlatifah - 2012-11-24
They grew up in the hood.

Bort - 2013-05-21
They're a monogamous couple; they're cousins.

memedumpster - 2012-11-24
The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup, not coming downstairs to find your two kids making out.
Rodents of Unusual Size - 2012-11-24
says you

Caminante Nocturno - 2012-11-25
Mom and dad know. They know all about it. Mom's entire life revolves around cockblocking them with constant interruptions and meddling. She got some much-needed relief when he went off to West Africa, but now that he's back, it's back to barging into rooms and planning dull family activities.

Dad, on the other hand, is filled with a combination of denial and resignation.
jangbones - 2012-11-28
I have sucked the still warm blood from the neck of a dying wildebeest. Gazelles scattered across the veldt at my warning that their were lions in the brush; they recognized me and my warning after a hundred tries, and the lions glared at me. I sifted through million year old ash in the cradle of all humanity, searching for chips of hominid bone. I witnessed a tribal boy become a man, and accomplish something I could never imagine achieving. I've breathed in the dark continent and I will never exhale.

But right now I need a fucking mug of Folgers. And a Ho Ho.
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