Neat, but he never found any bearded ones.

Bring forth the mollusc; cast unto me.

Real men just stick their dicks in the sand. Dick-noodling.

What's with the occasionally scary soundtrack? I kept expecting a deep one to reach up and stick him in a giant cylinder.

I used to do this as a kid at this very same beach and got squat because I used a shovel. My uncle took that handy tube thing and left the freezing kid with the folding military shovel.

I wish this guy would be my grandpa for a day. I would learn some cool things.

My father was an alcoholic.

When he'd go on a binge during the summer, my mother would dump me off at the neighbor's while she went off to work. This was in a small town in Rhode Island, back in the 1980's, which was a time and place you could dump your kids on other people and it wasn't a big deal. I suppose she saw it as a safer alternative than allowing my father to look after me.

One day the usual babysitters were unavailable and my mom made arrangements for me to be looked after by our other neighbors, the Sousa family. A clan of Portuguese fishermen. So me, and the other Sousa children who were about my age (7-9 years old) were drafted to work on the Sousa family fishing boat raking quahogs (clams).

So for 9 hours we dragged these massive rakes, that look somewhat similar to the rakes you'd use to rake up leaves in your yard, across the sea floor in order to scoop up stupid clams. I remember my arms wanting to fall off, and my lower back about to break by the end of the day.

So we kids got some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and headed back to the neighborhood. My mom came to pick me up at the Sousa house around 6pm and asked if I was well behaved. I can still hear Mr. Sousa say "Heeeey, he ah good kid, you bring him back anytime."

And that's why I hate my parents and Portuguese fishermen.

Little ocean-fact that I learned in my oceanography class:

These are called razor clams because they can go extremely fast into the sand. They push that little tongue out straight downwards, which pushes the sand aside making a hollow space. They retract the tongue and fall into that little cavity, then repeat. They can go downwards really fast because of this, sometimes evading diggers that take too long to get to them.

Also, unrelated: don't pick up sea snails or shells that look like snail shells in the actual ocean water. Many of them are poisonous believe it or not. They have a little proboscis that they shoot out of their mouths that carry a pretty potent neurotoxin. Apparently a lot of people die in the Caribbean each year because they see a pretty shell and try to pick it up.

'Long Beach' tag.

Not another PUA video