"Put your sword back into its place; for those who live by the sword, die by the sword. Matt 26:52.

Somehow, I don't quite see Jesus chilling at a gun show, with a chaw of skoal in his mouth...

Now here's a humorous internet short-film begging to be made: Jesus' disciples naked with swords robbing the Nazareth Seven-Eleven.

I can't wait to roast some marshmallows in hell over this guy.

If you're curious, he's talking about Luke 22:36. However, Jesus doesn't say the swords are for self-defense, and doesn't give any clear indication of why he wanted his disciples to buy a couple swords.

What's really stupid here is that the Jesus character was a pretty shitty guy overall - he's basically the PR man for an ancient (even in his times), barbaric war god. In Matthew 5:17 he talks about how he demands that people still uphold everything in the Hebrew Bible, so he's all good with the stonings, slavery, rape, infanticide, genocide, and so on, and in fact commands most of it. He's constantly going on about who is going to hell (almost everyone) and how bad it's going to be (in great detail), and how shitty things are going to be during the rapture (check out Matthew 24).

Dude is a complete psychopath who is eager to bring death, destruction and eternal suffering to the vast majority of the world, but one of the few violent things he DOESN'T bang on about is the right to bear arms.

Christians every day go out of their way to give the rest of the world an excuse to kill them all. They're always thinking of us.

Jesus was the Roman god of anti-Semitic propaganda, a Jew could get a tax break by converting to Christianity.

I am shocked that's not a part of every bill that comes out of the House of Representatives, it would most likely pass to avoid the fiscal cliff.

When Jesus comes back, the first place he will visit is a NRA convention.

What a coward