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Desc:Dozens of sitcom stars want to take away our guns
Category:News & Politics
Tags:Conan, Gun Control, newtown massacre
Submitted:John Holmes Motherfucker
Date:12/22/12
Views:2214
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Comment count is 50
snothouse
Am I alone in being unexpectedly effected by Conan appearing at the end?
Binro the Heretic
I was kind of blind-sided by Dinklage.

James Woods
No, sir.

Binro the Heretic
Fuck yeah.
Redford
At first I disliked this ad because they don't actually state anywhere within it what the plan they have actually is. This means it is the equivalent of them walking into the front lobby at NASA, demanding "Find a space monster or else," and then walking away.

After a bit I decided to go to their website, and discovered that they have a plan... of sorts.

1. All guns must have a criminal background check.

2. Ban assault weapons and high capacity magazines.

3. Make gun trafficking a federal crime, including real penalties for “straw purchasers”.

So yes, a legal minefield. I'm not sure how they actually plan to implement some guns suddenly becoming illegal for a not-insignificant number of gun owners.
SteamPoweredKleenex
What seems to go by the wayside concerning all the bitching about what an "assault weapon" or whatever category one uses is that they were hammered out by lawyers, most of them working for the NRA. Their goal was to make them so ridiculously ineffective and difficult to enforce that they're practically meaningless.

Getting their membership to then put the blame wholly on the government is a bonus.

Blue
If anything the assault weapons ban made things more dangerous. It was basically the equivalent of saying "Hey everybody make your guns look like hunting rifles so everybody thinks the assault weapons are gone"!

They basically gave you a limit on the number of military style cosmetic features a gun could have. I think the most functional thing it controlled was the suppressor. It's like the silencers guns have in movies except instead of making a gun whisper quiet, it just makes them quieter. They're still loud as fuck, but they're quiet enough that you don't have to wear ear protection, provided you're stupid enough to trust your hearing to some dumb shit you read in an ad.

John Holmes Motherfucker
>>At first I disliked this ad because they don't actually state anywhere within it what the plan they have actually is. This means it is the equivalent of them walking into the front lobby at NASA, demanding "Find a space monster or else," and then walking away.

No, because finding a space monster is not NASA's job.

Blue
Also you act like this is a late night infomercial for a product that passes gun control legislation and you're playing the part of the guy that is unrealistically stymied by a simple everyday activity.

We've done this before. It won't be the first time something legal has become illegal.

Binro the Heretic
OH NOES!

We'll have criminal thugs running around smuggling guns in baby carriages and throwing bottles of liquor at each other in the streets!

IT WILL BE MADNESS, I TELLS YA!

StanleyPain
"it won't be the first time something legal has become illegal"

Like slavery. Or preventing women from voting. Or telling black people they can't ride buses or eat at a restaurant. Or putting kids to work in a coal mine.

Redford
My point is that if they really want to "Stop all gun violence", then they are so far away from the solution of the problem they want to fix they don't actually understand what they are saying. Violence is the result of a culture which glorifies and accepts violence as long as it is justified.

People who seek to create discord will continue to do so with or without a gun. People who really want to have firearms, and those we arrest with needlessly strict laws will continue to overpopulate our prison system and cost us tax dollars in the long run. The end result is we send more people into the system, where they perpetuate violence inside the system. You don't need a gun to want to hurt someone. The guns are harder to get, but the underlying problem, if anything, might end up getting worse.

Cena_mark
Some of yall made fun of me, but I know the solution to our violent culture.

It involves ponies.

baleen
Guns won't ever become illegal. It is irrational to assume that guns will become illegal in America.

Here's a plan:

2% mental health service funding tax on all new firearms sold.

Tracking of illegally traded weapons taken more seriously and tougher punishments for those selling them, even if they're legit gun merchants. Selling of stolen weapons is an epidemic in the United States.

Neurodiversity awareness for students starting in elementary school and going all the way through high school. We did this with race, gender, and sexual identity. It works.

Improved mental health services, even in small towns. People should be able to get help if they are feeling isolated. Not all gun massacres are carried out psychopaths or people with a record of anti-social behavior.

Special carry permits for automatic weapons including mental health background checks.

That's a start. Much of this is actually doable in a lot of states.

baleen
And yes, knives and homemade bombs kill people too. Compare the doomsday stabbings in China recently. The kids lived. That's the different.

dairyqueenlatifah
I didn't recognize a good half of these people.

The related videos screen is a rather telling look at our priorities as a modern society.
Rodents of Unusual Size
"Someone needs to do something!"
"But what!"
"A plan, that's what!"
dairyqueenlatifah
CHANGE! HOPE! YES WE CAN!

poopy
Whose erection went soft when Aziz came on?

Blue
Here's an idea. Maybe don't come up with a plan yourself if your job is to be funny on TV. They don't need a fucking plan. That's step two. Step one is actually deciding that we're going to do something, and that's far from a settled issue in this country.

Binro the Heretic
Because celebrities aren't real people with brains or families of their own or anything.

HOW DARE THEY EXPRESS AN OPINION!

themilkshark
Blue makes the most sense out of everyone on here.

Rodents of Unusual Size
"We need someone else!"
"I'm someone else!"
"He's right!"

But no seriously, this commercial was made by idiots.

chumbucket
Wasn't it Chris Rock who went off on an anti-ammunition rant in his act?
il fiore bel
I'm not sure, but I remember his plan consisted of driving the price of bullets up to an insane amount.

godot
Rolodex of comedians with spare time and Julianne Moore.
poopy
Newtown. Newtown. Newtown. Newtown. We care about issues. Newtown.
joelkazoo
Julia-Louis Dreyfus is starting to look her age.
John Holmes Motherfucker
No, she's starting to look Jennifer Aniston's Age. Julia Louis-Dreyfus is 51.

joelkazoo
I take back what I said. She just went by too fast and her coat made her look frumpy.

subduralhematoma
i've seen her a few times in person when i lived in baltimore and i was pretty impressed by how well shes aged.

Binro the Heretic
She will always be the nekkid wood nymph in "Troll" to me.


John Holmes Motherfucker
So, can I assumne that Tina Faye is an NRA member?
I've always been pretty pro-second amendment for a liberal, but whenever something like this happens, there's always some fucking idiot commenting somewhere about how if the killer couldn't get a gun he would have just used a knife. Of course, you can always kill someone with a knife, but 26 someones? I guess it's possible, if you can get them all to hold still for maybe 45 minutes.

This stupidest of stupid arguments is always delivered with a palpable air of condescension and self congratulations, like YOU'RE the fucking retard. Why, Jim Jones killed thousands with koolaid. The weapon is irrelevant.
Pillager
Not only that, anyone wanting to go on a killing spree could just buy black market guns.

Binro the Heretic
All you dip shits who piss and moan about criminals being able to buy illegal guns conveniently forget the fact legally manufactured, legally purchased guns are the ones filling the black markets.

badideasinaction
Yes, let's repeal those murder laws while we're at it, because clearly they haven't stopped murders altogether and they're preventing law-abiding Americans from getting involved to stop those bad murders with good murders.

SweaterCollection
I love the "criminals will get guns anyway on the black market" bullshit.

What do people mean by "criminals" anyway? Walter White and Tony Soprano? Yeah, they'll get guns anyway. How about the skeevy douchebags who carry guns with them when they go out on a Saturday night? How about alcoholic couple four apartments down from me who scream at each other at 1am?

Also, the rate of suicide is far greater than the rate of homicide in this country, and guns are the most reliable method of suicide available by a massive margin.

Will they buy guns on the black market instead? Find another way to do it anyway? Why install a suicide net on the golden gate bridge then if it's so hopeless?

Right. We need to stop framing this issue around Anders Breivik and the bad guys that Arnold shot up in the 80's and start being realistic.

spikestoyiu
You know you're wasting your time trying to have a reasonable discussion the second they run with one of the following stupid tropes:

"Well, anything can be used as a weapon! So ban forks!"
"Well, drunk drivers kill more people than guns!"
"Well, criminals will get guns anyway!"

Gmork
Hey moron - you don't have to be tony soprano to show up to a gun show.

You guys are mostly intelligent right up until this subject gets brought up.

People who want to commit crimes with a gun will find an adequate gun for their crime. You call it a "trope" yet fail to actually say anything to refute it. Because it's true. You can laugh and sidetrack all you want but you haven't said a single thing that even comes close to making a logical point for taking away the guns of responsible owners.

Or, in your incredibly biased mind, such an entity is impossible to exist in your universe, right? Someone who is a gun enthusiast but ISNT a doomsday prepared redneck? Christ.

Gmork
Newsflash: There are an insane amount of guns in this country. If it was about the number of guns per capita we would have mass murders all the time. Obviously availability of guns has nothing to do with WHY these murders take place. You could kill someone just as dead with a handgun bullet as with an assault rifle bullet. Somehow I don't think flak jackets are going to be part of the school uniform anytime soon, so i'm not sure why you think it's AT ALL RELEVANT whether a bullet that killed someone was fired from a long range or short range weapon when all the crimes take place in short-range human-filled areas.

As fast as you can pull the trigger is pretty fast. I wouldnt want to get hit by a 9mm hollowpoint from a taurus any more than i'd want to get hit by a 7.62 round from a gigantic fucking assault rifle.

If your intent is to kill people, it's very difficult to be stopped if you don't tell anyone until the lead starts flying. Taking away assault rifles will have absolutely zero impact on the ability of people to carry out these crimes.

So far none of you have said anything that addresses this. You all conveniently skirt around it, or mention the argument only in passing to mock it, yet continually fail to actually and logically rebuke it.

It's actually very fast to load a 15 round handgun. I'm very disappointed in you all for not being smarter. All the facts are available to you. I dont even _own_ a gun anymore, so it's not like i'm saying all this with an AR15 on the wall behind me. I just have enough sense to not blame A CERTAIN TYPE OF INANIMATE OBJECT for the crimes that only a disturbed individual could carry out. The tool _is_ irrelevant. The only way you could ever hope to blame it on the long-range ability of the rifle is by remembering the bell tower shooter in texas. That was one case where a handgun would have been far less effective.

You won't find many cases like that, if there even are any more. Shootings take place up close, so you might as well jump on board with banning handguns while you're at it - or you're just a hypocrite.

SweaterCollection
Okay Gmork, I'll bite.

"Risk Factors for Femicide in Abusive Relationships: Results From a Multisite Case Control Study"

"Preincident risk factors associated in multivariate analyses with increased risk of intimate partner femicide included perpetrator’s access to a gun"

http://ajph.aphapublications.org/doi/pdf/10.2105/AJPH.93.7.108 9

"Although our study cannot determine causation, we found that in areas where household firearm ownership rates were higher, a disproportionately large number of people died from homicide."

http://ajph.aphapublications.org/doi/pdf/10.2105/AJPH.92.12.19 88

"Results. After adjustment, individuals in possession of a gun were 4.46 (P

SweaterCollection
Ahh it cut off most of my comment

"Respondents with firearms in the home were no more likely to report suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts, but if they had a suicidal plan, it was much more likely to involve firearms. The higher rates of suicide among gun owners and their families cannot be explained by higher rates of suicidal behavior, but can be explained by easy access to a gun"

http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/research/hicrc/firearms-research/g un-ownership-and-use/index.html

Anyway, you get the gist of it. Having more guns around is statistically correlated with more dead bodies showing up. Assault victims with a gun are more likely to get shot, so on and so forth.

themilkshark
Gmork: "I'm very disappointed in you all for not being smarter."

Let's all laugh heartily at that.

subduralhematoma
so, will they do their part as actors and directors and stop glorifying gun violence in popular media? prooooobably not.
Gmork
/\

I would almost like to agree with you because it provides more of a real step than any gun law would, yet if I agreed it would put me in the same logical fallacy as the NRA saying videogames cause violence.

Gmork
Idiots who don't understand basic human motivations want to pass laws that will never, in a thousand years, affect even one percent of potential massacres. Amazing.
asian hick
His eyes rolled to the back of their sockets as he tried to fuck Anakin's mouth, but his former Padawan's hands held his hips down. "Anakin, I'm going to ...." His eyes popped back open when Anakin's mouth left his cock. He let out a strangled moan as Anakin mounted back onto his seat upon his lap.

"Anakin, what the bloody hell ...?" Anakin cut him off with another rough kiss, and straddled his waist.

With the little space he had to work with, Anakin managed to guide Obi-Wan's throbbing cock into his tight entrance. Pain shot through Anakin's body as Obi-Wan penetrated him, and he let out a yelp. He sat still on Obi-Wan's lap, getting adjusted before slowly moving his hips back and forth. They both groaned as they found their pace together. Anakin grabbed the back of the seat with his hands again, and used the chair as leverage. Obi-Wan felt his balls tighten up, and he let out a cry of pleasure as he emptied himself into Anakin. He grabbed Anakin's cock, and started pumping it to their rhythm. Anakin bent his head back with a cry of pleasure, similar to Obi-Wan's as he came all over his hand and his own stomach. The two lovers sat there in the darkness, panting, as they listened to the sounds from outside. "Obi-Wan?"

"Yes, Anakin?"

"Can you do another round?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Obi-Wan said.

themilkshark
There should be 2 kinds of guns available for purchase in America: a handgun and a shotgun. Ammunition should cost around or more for single handgun bullets, and about for shotgun rounds (cheaper with the intent of hunting for food, also presumably less deadly since they take a while to reload and are hard to conceal). Guns should be regulated about as strictly as automobiles, with owners paying liability insurance on every single gun that they own and yearly registration. Ban all assault weapons and allow a time period where owners can surrender them to the government for a tax credit. Anyone possessing assault weapons afterwards should be charged with a felony and serve a prison sentence for possessing terrorist weaponry.

Seriously, I don't care how much you fucking love guns. You suck, and you shouldn't have one you piece of shit.
dr_rock
What is an assault weapon? I need to know your definitions so I can decide whether I own one or not.

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