http://i47.tinypic.com/2hz7al4.gif

A chip has a symbol... of a SATAN.

The last one is beautiful. It brought a tear to my eye.

"Gay laws being passed literally at our schools."

I'm all for congress being replaced with the student body of a randomly selected elementary school. Where was that initiative on my ballot?

JUAN THE SHAVED ICE GUY 2016.

HE HAS MY VOTE.

"I am here to claim the right of prima noctae," Obama said, quoting from his favorite film. In his hands he polished a shiny pocket watch--a reelection gift from the First Lady. "As President of these United States, I will bless this marriage by taking the bride into my bed on the first night of her union."

The groom was outraged! How could this be? How could the man for whom he had worked so many late hours do this to him? "No--No!" he shouted, drawing a finely-honed dagger from his belt. He would defend his honor and his wife, Secret Service be damned.

The President's bodyguards were swift, circling their charge with weapons drawn. Obama smirked, cagey as ever. This could only go one way. But the bride intervened. She stepped in front of her husband, turning to him. "Don't do this. I will go. We will live a long life together," she said softly. Then she strode toward Obama's limousine.

She climbed in, smiling to herself. She didn't look forward to spending a night with this crusty lecher. But she'd been born in a jail cell to a heroine-addled prostitute, and hadn't risen this far without knowing how to overcome a little disgust. She would go along with this, take control of it, gain leverage over it, as she had done so many times before.

Soon the First Lady would be out of the way, and then the President himself.

It amazes me how, in 2012, a black man being re-elected can evoke such virulent white outrage.

Then I remember that I live in the South, where believing in birther shit and Fox News talking points is practically mandatory. I wouldn't be surprised if half those YouTube comments were made by people who live in my hometown.

democracy
demon-cracy
doom-o-cracy

"lmfaoooooooooooo"