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Desc:Starring Will Smith and his stupid kid.
Category:Crime, Trailers
Tags:will smith, M. Night Shyamalan, Will Smiths annoying brat, the twist ending will suck balls
Submitted:Rodents of Unusual Size
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Comment count is 64
Rodents of Unusual Size - 2013-01-10
Also I'm not sure of this, but I think a Scientologist wrote the script...see if you can spot the ridiculous bullshit pseudophilosophy!
EnochEmery - 2013-01-10
The volcano at the beginning gives it away. I'm sure somewhere in the movie Will Smith yells at an ashtray.

Rudy - 2013-01-10
The twist is that all the killer animals are being controlled by a secret tribe of primitive psychiatrists.

Maru - 2013-01-10
From the writer of Duke Nukem Forever, Prey, and Gears of War.

Hooker - 2013-01-10
So it's the third Hitchhiker book?
baleen - 2013-01-10
Producers: Mr. Shamalama, we need something like Avatar.

MKS: Okay. I can do that.

Producers: But it can't be the exact same thing, it can't be about blue Native American Iraqis, it has to be about something else, just similar.

MKS: Okay, I finally saw The Road but didn't read the book. What if I combine the two?

Producers: Are you saying it's The Road meets Avatar?

MKS: Yeah, I guess.

Producers: Let's make this piece of shit.

Adham Nu'man - 2013-01-10
The twist ending will be the implication that it's not really AFTER, but BEFORE, and we are all descendants of Will Smith and his kid.

Either that or it will be something like the ending of Monkey Island 2.
Hooker - 2013-01-10
Dude, I just made that prediction.

SolRo - 2013-01-10
the sabretoothed cats kinda give away the time period.

I'll probably still end up seeing it at some point, just because I cannot resist "shiny future technology" movies.

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2013-01-10
The twist ending will be that Will Smith's son is actually an autistic tree ghost.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-01-10
I predict that I'm not going to see it.
Adham Nu'man - 2013-01-10
But the twist ending is that YOU WILL see it!

Nikon - 2013-01-10
Oh snap

dairyqueenlatifah - 2013-01-10
I'll probably wnd up being dragged to this since I live in a house woth two Shylaman fans. Oh yes, they exist.

Ah well, it can't be worse than The Village.
Born in the RSR - 2013-01-10
The Happening.

dairyqueenlatifah - 2013-01-10
Touché. I had forgotten all about Plants Make Humans Commit Suicide: The Movie.

TimidAres - 2013-01-10
Lady in the Water

spikestoyiu - 2013-01-10
Definitely Lady in the Water.

Caminante Nocturno - 2013-01-10
The Last Airbender.

Or is bringing that up considered kicking someone when they're down?

moldprince - 2013-01-10
Welcome to...


Rodents of Unusual Size - 2013-01-10
I was so expecting that. I think they must have hired a voice coach. I picture it as going along the lines of Steve Martin trying to sound American in the Pink Panther.

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2013-01-10
Voice coach: "Welcome...to EARTH".
Will Smith: "Welcome to Earf!"
Voice coach: "Welcome...to EARTH".
Will Smith: "Welcome to Earf!"
Voice Coach: "No no no. Listen to me. EARTH".
Will Smith: "No no no. Listen to me. EARF".
Voice Coach: "EARTH".
Will Smith: "EARF".
Voice Coach: "Why don't we take a break-"
Will Smith: "No! We will not quit! EARF! EARF! WELCOME TO EARF!"

Adham Nu'man - 2013-01-10
Maybe I'm crazy but I distinctly hear "Welcome to Earth"


Bort - 2013-01-10
Yeah, he said "earth". I think it's one of those racist things that people have taken on faith.

SolRo - 2013-01-10

Innocent Bystander - 2013-01-10
Yeah, people have that scene mixed with the later one where he's dragging the alien across the desert with a cigar in his mouth.

Or racism. Could be either.

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-01-10
I'll be completely surprised if he doesn't throw an "aw, HAIL naw!" in there somewhere.

As for the "Earth" vs. "Erf" thing, I think he's capable of both and uses whichever he thinks fits his character. That character is usually either "Will with a gun" or "Will with a lady," but they're both possibilities.

Maru - 2013-01-10
Yeah, I'm the racist because I didn't hear the "-th" in between the hail of reprehensible jive talks he spews through the entire rest of the movie.

Adham Nu'man - 2013-01-10
Reprehensible jive talks? In what way was Will Smith "jive talking" and if so how was it reprehensible?

I saw this film years ago and I thought it was very boring so maybe I drifted out during the parts when Will Smith was being racist...

baleen - 2013-01-10
Now son, you just killed that giant wasp like a white man. Ammabouttashowya how a black man be killin giant wasps.

oswaldtheluckyrabbit - 2013-01-10
"reprehensible jive talk" -- wow

Caminante Nocturno - 2013-01-10
You people are just never going to change.

dairyqueenlatifah - 2013-01-10
Will Smith sounds whiter than you do in real life. The occasional ebonicized mispronunciations are just part of the script.

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2013-01-10
Will Smith also hired a guy who does nothing but teach his son how to sound more urban black. Will Smith is a really weird guy, and he knows how to pimp his family to the industry by making them marketable and "black enough".

Adham Nu'man - 2013-01-11
So the actual voice coaching session actually goes down something like this?

Will Smith's son: "Welcome...to EARTH".
Voice coach: "Welcome to Earf!"
Will Smith's son: "Welcome...to EARTH".
Voice coach: "Welcome to Earf!"
Will Smith's son: "No no no. Listen to me. EARTH".
Voice coach: "No no no. Listen to me. EARF".
Will Smith's son: "EARTH".
Voice coach: "EARF".
Will Smith's son "Why don't we take a break-"
Voice coach: "No! We will not quit! EARF! EARF! WELCOME TO EARF!"

Maru - 2013-01-11

Maru - 2013-01-11
Like when he says: "AWW HEELLL NAW DON'T YOU BE SHOOTIN' DAT GREEN SHIT AT ME" during the dog fight scene, and stuff like that.

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-01-11
"Will Smith also hired a guy who does nothing but teach his son how to sound more urban black."

He's turning his kid's life into the movie "Hollywood Shuffle," then.

jangbones - 2013-01-10
the Michael Cimino of our generation
Riskbreaker - 2013-01-10
Notice how at no point the trailer mentions this is a Shyamalan movie.. No "from the director of The Happening" or any of that stuff. Seems the studio is aware this guy's name is already box office poison.
bias - 2013-01-10
He's made some lousy movies to be sure, but don't mistake bad press with bad box office. He seems to do really well internationally.

Last air bender budget : 150 Million
Worldwide Box office: 9,713,881

The Happening budget: 48 Million
Worldwide: 3,403,799

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-01-10
I blame the overseas market. Thanks to worldwide movie distribution, all you need to rake in the bucks is the occasional special effects bonanza scene. That either overshadows the bad acting, the bad acting is "fixed" with dubs in the local language, or the ticket buyers just don't care.

It's why the Garfield movie made more than the Hellboy movie. The first probably doesn't even require subtitles for the audience to understand what's going on.

StanleyPain - 2013-01-10
Right after Last Airbender came out, they started removing his name off the advertising for Devil as well, which he produced. The original posters and commercials had his name all over them then once Airbender was being declared stupidest piece of crap ever, suddenly it was gone. I thought that was pretty humorous.

Siebenstein - 2013-01-10
320 million box office on a 150 million budget probably means that they lost money or barely broke even, especially if a large chunk of the results come from overseas, what with marketing costs and foreign distributor cuts, not to mention theaters at home and abroad.

That said, I thought this looked alright. Then again, I haven't seen a Shyamalan movie since Unbreakable.

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-01-10
I predict that the twist is Will wakes up as Tom Cruise in that other "oh, crap this is really Earth" sci-fi movie that's being released at the same time.
deadpan - 2013-01-10
They showed both of those trailers along with the Stephanie Meyer post-apocalyptic bodice ripper back-to-back when I saw The Hobbit and for a moment I thought it was all one trailer.

StanleyPain - 2013-01-10
If I may, let's not let After Earth ruin Oblivion, which Joseph Kosinsky has been developing for a very long time and might actually be a decent film, despite Tom Cruise.

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-01-11
I have no problem with Tom Cruise in films. He can act, no doubt about it.

Off the set, he's a whackjob who pays money to a sci-fi themed cult so he can wear a space navy uniform. I have no trouble separating the lunatic from his art.

oddeye - 2014-05-29
I think you are absolutely correct, he is indeed a gifted actor and very good looking (speaking as a mostly hetro male). As long as he isn't abusing kids and animals or raping adults and shit I couldn't care what he does off screen and would never turn away a movie on principle that he is in it.

Mike Tyson I have the exact opposite opinion of and I HATE how such a piss-stain gets so much positive attention and bit parts in movies.

DriverStabby - 2013-01-10
This is great. A shitty trailer I saw one month ago on every other site on the internet. Way to stay relevant, poeTV.
TimidAres - 2013-01-10
Way to be butthurt.
This is poetv, not imdb.

Hooker - 2013-01-10
Oh no! Are you leaving, guy nobody has heard of or cares about?

Candlejackv616 - 2013-01-10
Great... Aintitcoolers have discovered POETV :/

Candlejackv616 - 2013-01-10
Stars only because I read the title of the vid as "Shyamalans newest Ted Nuggent movie" when I first saw it and after watching this trailer, the Shyamalan bomb about Nuggent would seem at least fun(as far as train wrecks go) in comparison to this droll crap.

Honestly its amazing...love Will Smith or not he at least has some presence on screen, his kid is such a non entity in everything hes been in so far.
Sanest Man Alive - 2013-01-10
I don't think you understand what "droll" means. Hint: nothing Shyamalan makes is intentionally droll.

Caminante Nocturno - 2013-01-10
They should name this movie 'Avatar 2' and then get claim it's a sequel to both Avatar movies.
BHWW - 2013-01-10
The twist? It was Earth all along!

And then it turns out Jayden Smith was a ghost all along.

And Will Smith? He discovers he's really Hitler.
CornOnTheCabre - 2013-01-10
But that Hitler was actually a transgendered clone of Eva Braun all along! And Eva Braun is played by Jayden Smith!

cognitivedissonance - 2013-01-10
I really wonder who he's got blackmail on.
Rodents of Unusual Size - 2013-01-10
Maybe it's intentional and he's funneling money somewhere. Last Airbender cost way too much to make and it looked like shit. I'm guessing at least some of that money wound up in the Caymans.

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-01-11
He hasn't had an "Ishtar" to his name yet.

His movies are pretentious attempts to make episodes of The Outer Limits most of the time. His early movies are still well-regarded, but as he became the "what a twist" guy, he's almost a walking spoiler for his films. Everyone goes in looking for what the change-up is going to be rather than to enjoy themselves. His direction seems to be getting worse as well, but that's not why he keeps getting to make movies.

As Kevin Smith said, as long as your movies make this much [holds thumb and forefingers a half inch apart] profit, you'll keep working. It's when you're handed a blockbuster budget and you completely screw the pooch to the point where studio accounting and re-shoots can't save it that you're probably out for good.

oswaldtheluckyrabbit - 2013-01-11
It's pretty hard to fail so badly in Hollywood that you don't get to direct any more movies. Even Michael Cimino got to direct a few after Heaven's Gate.

BorrowedSolution - 2014-01-10
"Everything on this planet evolved to kill humans."

There's no other humans around though, Mr. Smith. Please explain how they evolved such honed human-killing abilities in the absence of humans.
oddeye - 2014-05-29
What a twist!!!

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