Fry the burger in a thin layer of Kramp's Easy-Lube shortening, and decorate with a miniature version of Old Glory.

Plenty of aspartame and salt....which yet again proves that weight watchers misses the point.

Masaokis call your mother, she misses you.

She just LAYS on the sugar substitute onto those pickles.

That is so much frigging cola, too.

Doesn't a bigmac have something like 500 calories?

Jesus christ, does each cheeseburger take half a roll of paper towels?

Use a billion paper towels, throw that extra lettuce away! So much waste for such a crappy sandwich.

I'm willing to put real money on the line that she fills her jar of Equal using complementary packets she lifts from local businesses by the pocketload.

I find the wobbly countertop to be the most disturbing part of this video.

You can actually get Splenda-sweetened pickles now.

Which is stupid. Dill pickles just plain taste better ANYWAY.

Her lettuce method.