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Desc:Monica Foster will revolutionize porn via the insertion of Jesus, God, goodness & light
Category:Religious, Business
Tags:Christian, porn, pornstar, Monica Foster, commandments
Submitted:kamlem
Date:02/19/13
Views:4967
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Comment count is 23
Old_Zircon
She apparently diesn't know Satanism is 100% trolling.
SolRo
will she be inserting a normal sized white jesus or an oversized black jesus?
John Holmes Motherfucker
I have a detachable Jesus!

godot
Don't think it would be worth 8 hours of listening to her.
baleen
Sweetie, I don't think you got into porn for the right reasons.
Mother_Puncher
She fucks for Jesus, not of the flesh. You'll understand when Jesus touches you one day.

Quad9Damage
At first, knowing nothing about this woman beforehand, I thought she was just trolling. Then when she got to commandment # 8 I realized that she believes every word she was saying, and she is batshit crazy.

paranex
Oh my fucking god. This crazy woman has a dozen or so blogs/websites. This is either a really clever attempt at SEO for her cam site or she's fucking nuts....oh hey look, she's also a gang-stalking victim!

http://gangstalkingisreal.blogspot.com/

This is a deep, deep well of unbridled crazy.
ashtar.
Uh, are you allowed to masturbate to Christian porn?
"L.A." porn is actually pretty vile, though. I wish you luck, endearingly wacky Christian pornstar lady.
Old_Zircon
L.A. is actually pretty vile from the sound of it.

Jet Bin Fever
Not create parody? How is that even related?
That guy
Thou Shalt Not Create Parody From Historical, Factual And/Or Classical Bodies Of Work.

JBF, if you don't see how:

This Ain't Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire XXX (Hustler)
or
Farmer's Ballmanac (Caballero)
or
As You Lick It (Triangle Films/Marc Dorcel co-production)

aren't UNCHRISTIAN, then maybe you need more examples...

(p.s. always good to see the ol' And/Or being used in a sacred context/text)

ashtar.
A million invisible stars for "As You Lick It"

kamlem
The only race of Jesus is the human-shaped deity race.
kamlem
^^^ Reply to SolRo

Quad9Damage
Responses/questions for each Commandment:

1). Nobody likes seeing condoms in porn. Part of porn's appeal (at least for me) is watching a woman be with multiple barebacked partners, either one-on-one, or, you know, at the same time, whatever. Married/engaged couples are annoying whenever I have a favorite porn star but she's only with the same scraggly geek in every one of her scenes (like Faye Reagan).

2). I don't like anal scenes that much, but to each their own. Shut up.

3). .....Why?

4). But what if I WANT to see "This Ain't Gilgamesh!" or "Dante's Harem"?

5). .............Why?

6). Yeeah, suddenly I'm not liking 'Christian porn' so much...

7). This contradicts Commandment # 1. Husband porn partners ARE suitcase pimps...

8). But can we keep making fun of you people for other reasons?

9). They don't do that anymore...at least not blatantly.

10). I came up with at least three responses for this, but again, all I can go with is "why?"

11). To each their own. Shut up.

12). She does have somewhat of a point here. At the same time, why should Blackzilla and Whitezilla have to change their names?

13). Why?

14). So that "Roots" parody would have to go, then?

15). I don't think that's legally in the mainstream.

16). Not into this either, but to each their own. Shut up.

17). Lady, have you ever actually had sex?

18). I agree. That's wasteful. Blow it in her mouth instead. I also call for a mandate of more creampies!

19). If you're not sure, GOOGLE it? You really want someone Googling the word 'scat!?' Seriously. The evils of Google are mighty. Also, I'm into poop, but.......oh, just shut up.

20). Why?

21). Pretty sure there's lots of setting up, stage direction, mutual agreements, stuff that will take at least a few hours befre the actual shooting begins. Unless you're stupid enough to think Bangbus is real.

She said '21' but there was a 22nd, so maybe I missed one. Who gives a fuck though.

- 1 for 14 minutes of her goddamn bird, her insufferable personality and her constant disapproving camera stares. Like everything else Christians try to make their own, Christian porn would be banal and grating.
Quad9Damage
Fuck, # 19 should be "NOT into poop."

Old_Zircon
You've got a lot of opinions about porn.

Blue
I'm not into scat either but I can still defend it. Do you really want to live in a world where Christians can't constantly have their religion reaffirmed even while watching scat porn? *shits on chest* Jesus and I love you! Hey, did anybody else notice that a child that died in a recent tragedy had a name similar to that of a famous scat porn star?

Whatever and you know what? Why don't you have opinions about porn Old Zircon? Unless you're not a customer you should. The reason porn is so shitty is because it can be. Openly racist porn is a genre and people having mutually satisfying sex isn't one. Besides, if you're old, doesn't that mean you write letters? Write some angry letters!

Quad9Damage
I do indeed.

John Holmes Motherfucker
>>Thou Shalt Not Create Parody From Historical, Factual And/Or Classical Bodies Of Work.

Isn't this list formatted as a parody of the Ten Commandments.
John Holmes Motherfucker
I don't comprehend this, and I'm not much interested in expending the effort, but points should be awarded for being crazy in an original way.
Dirtchamber
This is genius. Think of all the guilt-ridden Christians there must be watching porn -- there must be millions of them, all looking for a way to soothe their tortured conscience. She's not some common whore taking a facial; she's a servant of the LORD receiving the holy seed.
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